Choices

^{Okay so it's time to get real honest here. I have allowed myself to be distracted by what is going on in the Ethiopia adoption process. The enemy is a master of distraction. Granted this is BIG, but our God is BIGGER!}

^{I don't know about you, but I have been negative, I have been grumpy, I have been overly-sensative. I have been a train wreck! I have not been a very good mother to my kiddos, and I haven't been a very nice wife. I am usually a glass half full kind of person, but I have just been overwhelmed with negativity.}

Now I don't think there is anything wrong with grieving. I have certainly had some emotional and angry conversations with God in my prayer closet over the last couple of weeks. But people do we or do we not believe that our God is IN CONTROL?!

I have experienced the grace and goodness of God in my life. I KNOW that He works ALL things for the good of those who love Him. That IS His business.

So I am going to choose to trust Him right now.

I will petition Him on behalf of my daughter and the other lonely children. I believe my job and your job right now is to position ourselves in a way to HEAR Him. We must be so close to Him that we will not miss it when He says I want you to move, I want you to act. But that means to BE STILL and wait, now!

Change does not happen when we are comfortable. And I don't know about you but I want to change. I want to be more like Him.

So I am going to choose to say thank you God for changing me.

I know that if I can be grateful and find joy in this process and work with God and not fight Him, the greater the change will be.

God is God, and I am not. God is not surprised by any of this. He knew it was going to happen. He allowed it to happen.

So the choice is do I believe God and His Word or not?

Do I know through my life experiences that He is good? Do I know that when I have suffered He has brought me through, and in the end I have been grateful.

I choose uncomfortable! I choose change! I choose joy in the pain! I choose to trust in the midst of the unknown! I choose worship and praise and prayer and fasting! I choose God!