So this post has been written and rewritten about 100 times in my head.
On Sunday we received an UNvitation in our email. What is an UNvitation you ask? Let me tell you.
We were INvited to a party and when the family found out (through this blog) that our daughter is HIV+, they UNinvited us through an email.
They were angry at us for allowing their child to play with our daughter without us disclosing to them that she is HIV+.
We responded with a VERY gracious email. We were very understanding that HIV can be a very scary thing when you don't have the facts. We gave them the basic facts of HIV and explained to them that we completely understood that this would be a process for them, as it was for us in the beginning, and that we were happy to continue this conversation with them.
Unfortunately we did not get a positive response from them.
I want to be clear that this post IS NOT to attack them!
There are plenty of others in this world that feel the very same way. It is frightening!
They just don't know the truth.
The purpose of this post is to expose the ugly side of lack of education!
THIS IS WHY WE DISCLOSE! I am grateful for this situation!
This is why our family has CHOSEN to be open advocates for our daughter.
YES, it comes at a price, but what Satan meant for evil God is about to use for good!
We have counted the cost of disclosure, and we are okay with it,
because this ignorance HAS TO END!
IT IS NOT DANGEROUS TO INVITE HIV+ PEOPLE TO YOUR PARTY unless...
you are having unprotected sex, sharing needles, giving birth, or breastfeeding!
In that case, my 4 year old can't come to your party anyway! (thank you Deanna)
Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God
8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God
So what do we do when people REFUSE to hear the TRUTH, and they instead choose to live in fear. I love these verses from the book of Timothy. It is no coincidence that Paul encourages us not to fear, and attaches that to shame and then suffering for the gospel.
We LOVE this family! We will continue to love them, and be Jesus to them the best we know how. We are saddened by their choice to reject the truth. But that is their choice, and I believe that is their loss! Because my daughter is AWESOME, and so is the rest of my family!
AND the attacks don't end there either!
My 8 year old came home from school yesterday and said that a boy in his class told him
'black people are sh!t'
An 8 yr old, said that to my 8 yr old!
So my son got up in his face and said 'you should not have said that TO ME!'
He went straight to his teacher and told her. I am SO proud of him!
He told me 'mom, I wish we weren't in the classroom when he told me that. If we were on the playground I would have punched him in the face.' Again- SO proud! ;)
People Satan is angry, because GOD IS ON THE MOVE!!!!
God is rescuing orphans. God is bringing 'the most overlooked' into loving homes.
Families are looking more diverse, just like heaven!
God is turning His peoples hearts toward Him, and the enemy doesn't like it!
I am SO excited that my family is on the front lines of this battle.
So I want to ask you to PLEASE share this blog post. PLEASE educate yourselves, your friends and family with the truth about HIV/AIDS. Please post the Truth Pandemic video to your walls. Throw up some HIV facts on your FB status every now and again!
PLEASE support Project HOPEFUL and our work. It is important, and VERY NECESSARY!
To help us STOP this kind of injustice please VOTE for Project HOPEFUL to win a $50,000 grant from Cultivate Wines. YOU CAN GIVE $50,000 without it costing you a penny!
Just vote from you Facebook EVERYDAY from now, until June 30 2012.
VOTE HERE and SHARE the link!
http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/28670/
Just vote from you Facebook EVERYDAY from now, until June 30 2012.
VOTE HERE and SHARE the link!
http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/28670/
Lets do everything in our power to make sure that no child gets an UNvitation because of lack of knowledge about HIV/AIDS!
68 comments:
I love your courage, integrity, and open honesty. An inspiration.
I love this post! And I'll be sharing for sure. I am sorry you had to go through this with that family, but I am so glad y'all have chosen to be advocates.
I'm so sorry to hear about this unvitation. Keep being an advocate, keep your strength, and give B a big hug from me. I'll see you at the Summit soon! Ariam is coming with me!!
Nice to "meet" you fellow TEAM TRUTH members! Thank you for sharing and I will now be....sharing!
A friend shared this blog with me. I love your courage and heart. I will be sharing your blog post and the TRUTH.
Maria
Found your blog through a friend who shared your post. We are in the same place right now, waiting to bring home our HIV+ daughter. We have gotten mostly positive responses for disclosing but unfortunately not everyone has been so open-minded! Thanks for being bold and sharing TRUTH!
You can come to my kids parties anytime. Not trying to be ugly, just sharing the truth that your kids are fine playing with my kids. I don't think we live anywhere near each other, but if you are in the 'hood . . . :)
Thank you for sharing this..we just finished our first homestudy and one question we were asked if we would be willing to bring home and HIV+ child..YES was our first response!!! But know we will pray more about education of ourselves so if this happen we would know what to say..thank you for your post.
Julie, she lives in sunny CA but does come to visit some, so we will get together.
You are precious. I want to attack them. Call them losers and uneducated idiots. You are gracious and kind friend.
Love you! I still get credit for bringing the lovely Miss B to you. Wear it like a badge. xoxo
Found this post through a friend. VERY moving! I know NOTHING, NOTHING about HIV, but I do know that this kind of fear and discrimination is not of the Lord. Thank you for sharing. It's encouraged me to educate myself in an area I never think about. God bless!
tears....streaming.....I love you girl. Keep fighting the battle, we are right here with you!!! xoxoxo
The more people are made aware, the less stuff like this will happen. I'm so sorry this hurt your daughter and family. Thank you for doing something positive (educating others) about it. And as for the racial issues, btdt through foster care. We had 5 different races other than our own live with us over the years and we had to endure many ignorant children spouting racism at very young ages. It's hard when you're in it to maintain love first, but in the end, it's worth it and may yet win some over. So glad you're speaking up and involved in changing culture through something positive like Project Hopeful.
Ignorance, unfortunately, seems to be everywhere. Please give your daughter a hug and a kiss from me. If I was close by I would give them to her myself. Any parties I ever have, you are invited to. Anytime you ever need a place to stay in my hometown consider your family welcome here. If my grandchildren are here visiting from Texas, they would love to play with your children. God bless you and your family.
Jo Culver
Childersburg, AL
When my Uncle first told us that he was HIV positive I was very nervous around him. But the more we learned about the disease the more we understood and were able to be put at ease. Now I enjoy any time we get with him, but it's rare because he lives so far away. Any concerns we have about health are more for him, IE contagious diseases that could harm him. I agree that people should know the truth. Living in fear is letting the Devil steal you from the joy GOd has planned. Following you now. Sounds like just the kind of people I would love to learn and grow with.
The Lord is already using that little girls life. She is lucky to have you guys.
I am so sorry that your daughter was unvited. I just wrote a post this weekend telling people that the little boy I'm adopting is HIV+. I imagine we will go through times just like this one. I pray that I will be as gracious as your family was in that moment.
Keep spreading the truth and paving the way for the rest of us. We're right behind you! :)
Was just introduced to your blog by Debi Jenkins. We are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia thru Gladney (haven't said yes to HIV+ at this time, though). Blessings to you and your family--thank you for sharing the TRUTH about HIV and about adoption. Your family is beautiful!
Lindsay,
You've got a big INvite any time here in the Knight home. We will share cups, forks, and even kiss your little "B" goodnight. No fear here! Glad you are walking in the freedom God intended for "B" and your family. Walk on, sister. Walk on. We will be by your side.
L
Lyndsay,
From the moment we saw her at the airport when you brought her home, it was evident that God had planned this all along. You, Bart and your entire family are so awesome! The abosolute love and joy you have poured into her life will spill over and touch so many throughout her life you won't be able to count them! God will continue to use your family to show how love is done!
God Bless,
Michael Harness
You are invited anytime. Thank you for sharing your heart.
I'm passing your post on =) Love that your son stood up for himself!
May you continue to teach your children wonderful values.
Wow, at first reading this I was filled with anger but then God reminded me how AMAZING it is to have people like YOU fighting to spread the truth.
Praying for you and your family.
Amazingly written. Your strength and grace are beautiful.
One more thought: would you mind posting at least part of your letter? It doesn't need to identify anyone, but rather share how you communicate these things to help the rest of us. We want to learn from your example!
Wow. I am speechless. We adopted our youngest too... she is not HIV+... so I can not imagine the challenges you have faced. Back in the 90's I volunteered for a large organization that provided support to those living with HIV and offered education services for everyone. I had friends that thought for sure that I was going to "catch it" and were scared. I thought those days were long gone. I'm sad to see that fear and ignorance are still alive today {20+ years later}. I'm here in SoCal too... I thought we lived in a progressive area. Sad. Your daughter is beautiful and living with a disease much like many others do. Your daughters illness just has a name that people still don't understand. These so called friends are really not friends. If they had spent any amount of time researching or talking to a medical doctor they would know that there is no need to worry {as you said}. I am so sorry this happened to you and I'm especially sad that your children had to learn how mean people can be. Just keep loving your daughter... we've got your back!
"People Satan is angry, because GOD IS ON THE MOVE!!!!" took the words right out of my mouth. sharing this so that more can be educated by your encouraging words and God-given wisdom. ;-)
What a testimony you and your family are LIVING! We've been praying about opening our adoption up to HIV+, and your post truly challenges me to educate those around us! THANK YOU! And YES! GOD is on the MOVE!
Hello sister-
I, too, am a princess, daughter of the Most High King. Your blog is the first I have ever re-posted. The way the Light of Jesus shines through your words is such a testimony to the Mercy He offers to the world. Thank you for loving this family in spite of the human side that would want to retaliate.
My beautiful son is also from Ethiopia. We don't have the same medical issues to deal with but I hope to develope the mercy you have inherented from our Father when it comes to racial issues.
God bless you and your incredible family!
This blog link was shared on a friends facebook. My heart smiles because your heart is big enough to love those who could easily be over looked. I am the proud mama of a beautiful brown little boy whose adoption was final in January. I love your words. I pray for blessings for you and your family!
I just found your blog and I am moved to tears. Keep you head up, keep loving your family, and keep trusting God. My family is lifting yours (and the friends) up in prayer today.
we get UNinvited too. we just ignore the ignorant. 16 is hard enough for him without his status! ali in NH
You are taking a stand for a great cause! I am proud of you for standing up for all HIV+ people and TRUTH!
What a wonderful ministry you have ahead of you! And what a blessing I imagine your latest child is in your life, as I'm sure are your other four (beautiful family photo!)
We raised four adopted children of color in a small white town and while there were some remarks, I found humor at home tended to offset them. I also found, as I'm sure you will, that while our children may be hurt because of their skin color or their health status or their learning disabilities, other children are hurt because they are overweight, or their parents don't have jobs, or their mom smells like alcohol. They are even hurt because they are smart. How wonderful you are illustrating to this family how to deal with the pain of rejection in a loving way. Hopefully they will remember that when their own child is rejected for one reason or another.
You are an amazing mom to demonstrate such strength and intergrity to your children!
What a beautiful and loving example you are to your children. For all things will be used for good. Maybe by your friend seeing the light in you, her heart may be changed. maybe not now when it is raw for her, but maybe in time. You are so right, it is her loss, I know that many would be proud and honored to call you friend.
You are a true Christian and a good person. What a great and powerful post. I am sorry this happened to you and that so many live in fear and ignorance.
Found your blog in a face book post from another adoptive mom - and it resonates pretty well with me - seems some of our extended family is a tad concerning that our kids might have "asian germs" - even though we've been in home for something over 2 years with the youngest!
Suffice to say that - you are probably kinder than me! Regardless - if you find yourself in Cincy - there's always room for all y'all at our table!
hugs - aus and co.
I would really like to connect with you and help you get your message out. I am so moved and blessed by this, the sheer joy that I feel just from reading your post. OH MY GOD OH MY SOUL! Please if it is possible contact me on facebook my link is
https://www.facebook.com/beachem.cockroft
I can't offer any funding as I have just begun this ministry that OUR FATHER has called me to. But I did feel led to read your post, and I have been very blessed. I am not even sure what else to say just from the sheer elation that you have brought to my soul. PRAISE GOD!
You brothers and sisters will be blessed!
AMEN!!!! SO VERY TRUE!!!
Having just brought home our Positive son...and having chosen to be open with people about HIS TESTIMONY....I wish I could say I am shocked. I wish I knew why people believe myths?
When I was 8 I had cancer. When I returned to school there were many that were scared to "touch me" because they might get it. Sounds silly right? yeah...did to me too.
The problem is that we are living in an INFORMATION AGE people!!! If most people now know that you can't get cancer by touching someone. Why can't they look up HIV facts?
I am sooo very sorry. I know you are being bold, but it doesn't make it easy to accept the fact that others are rude to you. :(
PRAYING for GOD TO WORK IN MANY WAYS TO OPEN PEOPLE'S HEARTS TO HIM AND THE TRUTH!!!! Thank you for standing up!
Praying that the family who uninvited you someday
decides
to
adopt
an
HIV+
child
who they fall insanely in love with.
Just because it'd be so fun if God did that. :)
Beautiful grace filled response!!!! Amazing testimony, and courageous son, just awesome!!! Thank you for sharing, we are exploring this possibility, and are preparing ourselves now for what God will do with our lives, thank you for your honesty.
A few years back we were in the process of adopting a little boy who is HIV+... the craziness/prejudices/stereotypes we were confronted with before we ever even got him home were eye opening. Our adoption ended up falling through, but we are still very much in close connection with our precious Joe and are fighting for the FACTS to be heard. Praying for your family and for peoples hearts to be open to hearing the truth.
The BOBB'S welcome you and yours as well! I am sorry to hear of this trial but am inspired by your reaction to it! Please feel free to look me up on facebook as well if you wish! I would love to talk with you as well about how you set your blog up! We just got started in the process and our blog is kind of boring haha!
Jeff and Becky Bobb
I really admire your family's courage! Your adorable Miss B was in the same room at the care center with our little girl for a while, we met you during our 1st trip after you'd taken custody. Thank you for being advocates. Now that we are more educated, I think if we ever adopted again we'd definitely be open to an HIV+ child. Wish you guys lived closer we'd have little B to all our parties!
Emily Alexander is a dear friend and I read this post on her blog. I am an adult adoptee through Gladney and have seen through my own life the miracle of adoption. I work in the criminal justice system and I never cease to be amazed at the ignorance of people in the world, but what I am even more astounded by is the grace that people like you have in the face of such ignorance. Thank you for allow what was "meant for evil to be used for good". Not everyone would see the higher purpose...especially when it involved their precious child. I'll be cheering for you guys in the 1/2 marathon!
I am very sorry about the Unvitation. Yes ignorance is worst than anything and spreads so easily! Because of ignorance fear kicks in. I am touched by your story and how gracefully you are handling the situation of the birthday party. Sad to say we live in a world where there is still ignorance with all the technology and advancements we've had we are still so behind in respect and tolerance.
Thank you for this post and speaking out against ignorance! Unfortunately, if it's not HIV...it's something else that people are ignorant about too. Your family is a true inspiration for us to be better about spreading a little humanity around and being responsible to educate our children (or adults!) around us about those different from themselves.
I'm afraid this post got me a bit worked up! I am soooo sorry you guys were UNinvited to something because of another persons ignorance on communicable disease! I just spent the last hour blogging about this because of a friend of mine who sent me your link. Thank you for sharing your heart, even though it's hurting, as this can only help educate the multitudes who live by fear on any given day. I pray God's beautiful blessings over you and your family...I imagine the joy and partying that goes on in your family, whether invited to another persons party or not! xoxox
Your circumstances remind me of a Christian man I know who has been HIV + for 30 years. His life emphasizes to me that the number of days of your life are controlled by God and not our perceived health. Please tell your daughter that she has the opportunity to go to the best party ever (the Marriage Supper of the Lamb) in Heaven...! Glad to have found your blog. :)
I came by to read this post because of Adrienne's blog post. haha. I like everything here from your amazing family photo to your music to what you have to say. I'd love to know your family. Maybe I'll keep reading. A bit infuriated as well about people and their ignorance. Agh!! But thanks for putting it out there.
Wow! Just Wow! What a beautiful post! I am so sorry you had to experience this but, what a wonderful way to learn, grow and inspire others!
Thank you SO much for finding the courage to post this. I'm sure it wasn't easy...
Beautiful family! DARLING daughter :) Best of luck to you and your family!
XOXO
Jacy
www.mynameisjacy.com
Wow. I don't know what to say. I a still shocked that people are still uneducated when it comes to HIV and that an 8 year old would say that. I really wish some parents would become better educated so they don't teach these hateful things. Your family is beautiful and God has certainly blessed you.
I have been meaning to blog about this topic and your blog post gave me the inspiration to do so:
http://www.therealblairfamily.com/a-response-to-the-unvitation
Best wishes to your family.
a friend posted this on her facebook wall and i'm so glad that i saw it! i admire your courage (and your 8 year old!) so much!
God knew waht he was doing when He blessed you with that sweet girl and the 8 year old willing to punch a classmate for his ignorant, hurtful curse.
I am so glad I found this blog post through a friend and so very happy to share it!! Your whole family is beautiful and I LOVE that your son spoke up!!
I read your post when you first posted it and people started passing it along! I was sadly not shocked but very saddened that your friends weren't even willing to listen. You have shown so much grace and strength in this situation, truly they are the ones missing out. I don't know you at all but I know that they are missing out on a family that is running after the Lord and a precious little girl that God clearly brought into your family for a big purpose! You are blessed to have her as your daughter and she is blessed to have parents who love her enough to step up and fight for her! Your family is an inspiration!
I posted this on my Facebook! Wow, GOD is so going to bless your family and that precious little gal. My heart goes out to all of you and to the family that is choosing to live in ignorance.
Keeping you all in prayer. Have a wonderful day!
http://theemptynestexpress.com
I too saw this after a facebook friend posted it, and I will be re-posting as well. Anyone in your family is welcome in our home at any time. Also, I love you!
Inspiring in so many ways. Much love to you and your beautiful family! I have learned from your post and shared.
Loved your post and I am going to share it. We recently adopted two HIV+ children, and we still struggle with who to tell outside of our close friends and family.
Awesome post. I hope the UNinviters have read it and feel very ashamed of themselves. We're in the process of adopting an HIV+ girl but we are not disclosing just for exactly this reason. However, that's not to say we won't educate... when and if our daughter is old enough to decide for herself whether or not she wants to be open about her + status, then we'll be right beside her, educating along with her.
Preach, sister. Preach.
I bet that family would be surprised to find out how many HIV+ people they are safely around every day and don't even realize it! Thanks for your story - it is an important educational tool!
Oooooooooooh man. I just heard about this blog post/situation. First of all - HAT'S OFF TO YOU for handling this graciously. I wish (oh how I wish!!) that I could say we handled our 1st case of ignorance so well. :( Secondly,(((((( hug ))))))). You're making me wanna re-open my blog! :)
I just want you to know the effect that this post is having one month later. My husband and I are in the process of adopting from Ugandanand because of all the links/education/advocacy this post sparked in the adoption blog community we set our hearts on prayer and guidance and the Lord is moving us to adopt HIV positive. Thank you for your bravery and your children's bravery in the midst of ignorance and fear.
Love you guys! I really do fear I would not be so gracious. ;)
Thanks for your post. Your video prior to your adoption touched me a lot and has moved us to be open to adopting a child who has HIV. :)
Oh, I saw this on Etsy and thought you might like it. I bought one from Russia since we're adopting from there.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/80454527/matryoshka-ethiopian-girl-art-print
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