The Boulton Family

Exciting News!!!!

2013-06-11T02:50:00.000-07:00

We have wonderful news to share...

The Boulton Bunch is growing again!

Conner is 4 weeks old and a handsome little guy with Down Syndrome. His journey into our lives and into our home has been a series of undeniably God orchestrated events. The culmination of which was his birth parents asking us to adopt him this past week. While even we might say its crazy to do 3 separate adoptions in less than 2 years, we would also say it is crazy to say no to God's plan for Conner and for us.

So, we are taking a leap of faith. We are following God's lead, trusting His provision, and humbly asking our brothers and sisters for help. Admittedly, not an easy thing for us to do.

God is already writing a beautiful story with Conner's little life and we couldn't be more excited to be bringing him into our family. We feel so humbled and honored to be his parents, to be his family, and to be able to love on him.

Would you please consider supporting us on this crazy ride?

There is a link on the side of this blog to make a tax-deductible donation to our families account for Conner's adoption at Project HOPEFUL.
THANK YOU for your support, it means the world to us!

End the Word

2013-03-05T16:13:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow March 6 is the annual day of awareness to end the use of the word 'retarded'.

The following is from r-word.org-

Why "intellectual disability" is replacing "mental retardation"

We used to use the 'R' word in our home. Before we knew it hurt people. Before we understood. Our kids said it because we said it. So we have grace for you. AND now YOU know!
So our family would like you to join us, and our friends, (thank you Tes!) in committing to...

1. Stop using the 'R' word.
2. SHARE this post, and educate others.
3. Go to www.r-word.org for more information.

Formula Follow-up

2013-01-18T17:03:00.003-08:00

I have had requests for an update on the new formula, so here ya go!

So Ruby has been on her homemade formula for almost 2 weeks. It has been MIRACULOUS!
Constipation- gone! Sleeping longer periods. Skin noticeably less dry, even in this crazy cold weather.
I did make an alteration. I added 2 tsp of gelatin to help emulsify the formula when it is warm and blend it in my Vitamix. It keeps the oils and vitamins from separating.
The first couple of days I eased her into it, by giving her homemade and the regular store formula. She had some VERY loose stools the first few days of the homemade formula, but now she has adjusted nicely, and no more crying from constipation and upset tummies!
We have also added bananas, sweet potatoes, chicken and carrots to her diet.
I feel so much better knowing exactly what she is eating. I also just got a juicer, so I am excited to start adding fresh vegetable juices to her diet soon!
It takes me less than 10 mins a day to mix together her formula and make her botttles. I refrigerate them, and heat them over the stove in warm water when its time for her to eat. Every 3-4 days I boil a chicken for the homemade stock, and we use it for dinners.
People have asked about cost, which had nothing to do with the change, but it is way less expensive than the store bought formula! The chicken is $7-$8 and I use 2 a week, but we also use the meat for dinners. The oils are expensive because they are all quality brands but they will last at least a month.

Hopefully this answered all of your questions, if not let me know.

Homemade Formula

2013-01-04T22:41:00.002-08:00

Wow, it's been a while.
This isn't really a catch up post because, well, there has just been too much going on. ;)

This post is going to be about feeding my sweet Ruby.
As soon as we found out we were bringing her home I knew I wanted to at least try and breastfeed her. I got some medicine to induce lactation, started taking fenugreek, drinking a lactation tea, and started pumping multiple times a day. I actually did get milk to come in, but it wasn't much and Ruby couldn't latch on. Even after trips to a lactation specialist and working with a therapist.
I even looked into breast milk banks, but they were not a viable option for us.
So formula it was. :(
She had horrible gas pains and constipation. With Down syndrome comes a lot of stomach issues and sweet Ruby was not the exception. We changed formulas a couple of times, but I was never comfortable with the ingredients.
Corn syrup is the main ingredient in almost every brand of formula!
When I went to switch her formula I read every label and researched every brand.
The top ingredient in almost every formula was some form of corn syrup, followed by Palm Oil or Sunflower Oils.
Even the organic formulas had 'organic' corn syrup and organic cheap oils. Really?
I was shocked! I couldn't even find a formula online that was acceptable.

This is the list of ingredients of the formula she was getting...

Enfamil Gentlease Lipil Ingredients: Corn syrup solids, partially hydrolyzed nonfat milk and whey protein concentrate solids (soy), vegetable oil (palm olein, soy, coconut, and high oleic sunflower oils), and less than 2%: Mortierella alpina oil,# Crypthecodinium cohnii oil,** vitamin A palmitate, vitamin D3, vitamin E acetate, vitamin K1, thiamin hydrochloride, riboflavin, vitamin B6 hydrochloride, vitamin B12, niacinamide, folic acid, calcium pantothenate, biotin, ascorbic acid, choline chloride, inositol, calcium carbonate, calcium phosphate, magnesium phosphate, ferrous sulfate, zinc sulfate, manganese sulfate, cupric sulfate, sodium hydroxide, potassium hydroxide, potassium chloride, sodium selenite, taurine, L-carnitine.

I started looking online to see if I could find recipes for homemade formulas. There just had to be something better out there.
And there was! The problem was the homemade formulas had some type of cow or goat milk.
My dear friend Lauren is an amazing Naturopathic Doctor. Her and I did lots of research, and she came up with a recipe that we are really excited about.
We used the recipes from The Weston A Price Foundation found HERE, and she tailored it just for Ruby.

36 oz. of homemade chicken broth
2 Tbsp coconut oil
2 tsp flaxseed oil
2 tsp cod liver oil
2 Tbsp blackstrap molasses

This is enough for 1 day of bottles. And Ruby LOVES it!

I also feed her banana for carbohydrates, and will be introducing pureed chicken from the stock for extra protein.

We have a juicer being delivered any day now, and will slowly be adding fresh juiced veggies too.

She also takes probiotics and multivitamins, and will be starting vitamin therapy, which is a special combination of vitamins just for children with Down syndrome.

This is not convenient, but it is actually less of a hassle than I imagined. And I feel so much better about what I am giving her!

I will let you know how its working out!

Change

2012-10-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

I have been quiet on the blog, and will probably continue to be for a while. This past year has been amazing! And it has also been overwhelming at times.
This past year we have added 2 beautiful girls to our family. We have a new church family, and my first born son is entering the Air Force. That is A LOT for this mommas heart.
A lot of loss, a lot of gain, a lot of changes.
Thankfully I have been able to arrange my time to be able to sit at the feet of Jesus DAILY, cause frankly He is the only reason I am not just a total wreck right now. (most days)
Being with Jesus just changes everything. He refocuses me. He gives me the proper perspective on my life and my circumstances.

When Bart and I began asking God to break our hearts for what breaks His, just a couple of years ago, we NEVER would have guessed that this is where God would have brought us.
What a blessing and a total honor He has given us to nurture and love and guide our beautiful children.
We are so grateful to be in service of the King!

B's 5th Birthday Party

2012-08-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

B has been waiting 5 long years for a day like last Saturday! It was the first time in her life that she had a day to be celebrated and special. And it was ALL about her!

Complete with a pink pony and carriage!

It was OVER THE TOP!

But we had 5 years of making up to do! ;)

And yes, I got seriously choked up

reflecting that just a little over a year ago she was in an orphanage in Ethiopia.

And there was face painting and balloon art too!

All her friends came to celebrate.

Lots of candy and cupcakes and pinwheels and pink!

Lots of gifts and balloons!

The singing was a little too much for her.

Bouncing in the trampoline.

Face painting turned to body art.

LOTS of gifts. (we may have hid half of them for Christmas!)

She took the gift opening very seriously.

And all of the preparation was worth it in the end

to make her feel precious and special and loved on her day!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY B!

We adore you!

Remembering My Rescue

2012-08-19T15:05:00.001-07:00

We get asked the question 'WHY?' all the time.
Why adopt? Why international? Why special needs? Why so many kids? Why do it again?
And I can give an answer to each question individually. But the best answer, our truest answer, will cover all of them as a whole.
The answer to ALL of these questions is
because everyday I live and breathe I remember MY rescue!

Deuteronomy 24:17-22

¹⁷Do not deprive the foreigner or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. ¹⁸Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this.
¹⁹When you are harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to get it. Leave it for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow, so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. ²⁰When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. ²¹When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. ²²Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this.

I was a broken little girl. He rescued me.

Not wanted by a father and a step father. Fiercely desired by Him.

Enslaved by lies. Set free by His Truth.

Blinded by fear and anger, deafened by grief. Healed and restored by His goodness and grace.

Overcome by my flesh and sin. Forgiven time and again.

As I live in the shadow of all He has done for me, I want everything I do to bring glory to Him!

So when I hear of children who are without love and a family and a home, we open our home.

When we see children who are being overlooked because society has labeled them unwanted, we understand that they are FIERCELY desired by Him, and therefore us!

And the second most asked question- Are you done yet?

Not until He says so!!!!!

God is Good!

2012-08-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

God is SO good!

We had the CRAZIEST few weeks!

You will not believe it. I can still barely believe it!

Bart and I were in Texas at the Empowered to Connect Train the Trainer Conference, which far exceeded our expectations by the way.
And on Thursday July 26th I got a text message from a friend of mine.

It said; 2 month old girl with Down Syndrome; born local, needs family.

I responded to the text expressing interest. Wrote a letter to the birth family that evening.
Friday morning the birth family had chosen our family and asked to meet with us.

Tuesday evening we met, and last Saturday morning, August 4th, we brought home our sweet baby girl

Ruby Boulton!

And today at 5pm it was final, and we can share her with you!
She is our sweet girl forever!

She truly is our precious gem!

God provided us with everything we needed!

Every fear we had, He answered with a confirmation that she was to be ours.

Her birthday is on our anniversary, June 4th!

The kids are in LOVE with her!

Daddy is obviously smitten, as he is with all of our girls.

And Batri is actually adjusting much better than we had anticipated.

We knew this would be very difficult for her, but

we have turned up the nurture for her.
Lots of Candy Land, and Memory,

more stories, and longer back scratches at bedtime, and she is doing well.

It is so much fun to have a baby in the house again!

She is a tiny 9lbs!

I just hold her and stare at her in disbelief that she is mine.

My heart is overflowing!

I cannot even begin to tell you the gratitude I feel to our Creator

that He would bless me with such a gift! Another precious child!
There has not been 1 day that has gone by when I have not just sobbed in thanksgiving to God.

If any of you reading this are of the belief that a child with Down Syndrome or any other Special Need are mistakes, I assure you, you are MISTAKEN!
You are invited to come to my house and stare into her eyes and I guarantee you will feel differently.
She is nothing short of perfection!

Summer Update

2012-07-25T12:26:00.002-07:00

This blog has been severely neglected. We have had a great summer!

Austin, our oldest graduated!

Hubby and our 2 oldest went to Ethiopia for 10 days with Ethiopia Smiles 2012.

They had an AMAZING time!

Austin assisting and Autumn supporting!

Project HOPEFUL won a $50,000 grant from Cultivate Wines! I have been training for a 1/2 marathon for Project HOPEFUL. If you want to support me here I would appreciate it!

We had a great time with my BFF Karla and her family.

So sad to see them go back home to Georgia!

Bart and I are traveling to TX this weekend to participate in a parenting training based on the Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®) model developed by Dr. Karyn Purvis and her colleagues. We have been doing intense homework the last 8 weeks in preparation for the training, and are looking forward to putting it all together this weekend so we can be of support to other parents around us. We will be trained to come alongside other parents and equip them with some wonderful parenting tools.

We are excited to see how God is going to use us!

AND...

I've also been busy filling out paperwork for our next adoption!!

Thats right! The Boultons are adopting again!

We are adopting a baby with Down Syndrome from the Ukraine.

We are doing a blind referral, so that means we have no idea who our child is.

We don't know if it's a boy or girl. We have requested a child under the age of 2 with Down Syndrome.

We are all very excited to have a baby in the house again.

It's been a LONG time since we've changed diapers around here.

We trust that God is the keeper of the details!

Well, I think I've left you with enough to chew on for now. I'll be back soon! ;)

Together for Adoption

2012-07-05T16:51:00.002-07:00

If you are thinking about adopting, or are in process, you should consider going to Together for Adoption Conference.(T4A) I have been a couple of times and have learned SO much about parenting children from hard places.

AND Project HOPEFUL will be doing a couple of breakouts at T4A that you won't want to miss!

Also check out Empowered to Connect website. They are my FAVORITE! Bart and I were so blessed to be accepted to attend their training course in July. We've been really busy with LOTS of homework, and have learned so much about our parenting and our children. It has been incredible for our entire family. Excited to share more soon!

Mother The World

2012-07-03T21:53:00.002-07:00

My amazing friend Deanna Jones from Mother The World came to visit. She is our media guru at Project HOPEFUL. She is an author and Blogger/Vlogger here.

We had a great visit! Please check out this video she did of our story. We were the first stop on her Amazing Mom Summer Tour 2012.

2012-05-01T10:54:00.000-07:00

I am volunteer staff for an AMAZING not-for-profit organization called Project HOPEFUL.
Project HOPEFUL NFP exists to educate, encourage and enable families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked children for adoption.
We are SO excited to be in the running for a $50,0000 grant from Cultivate Wines.
We have 60 days starting today to get as many votes as we can.
To vote you must log into your Facebook account from this link. It literally takes 5 seconds!
I would like to ask you to vote everyday for the next 60 days, and also share the link on your Facebook page.
At Project HOPEFUL we give our all for ONE! Changing the world for one orphan at a time!

Humbled

2012-04-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Words cannot even express to you the emotions I have experienced over the last few days. I have literally been face down on the floor of my prayer closet weeping at the feet of Jesus. I am in awe of His goodness! When I wrote these words...

I am grateful for this situation!

This is why our family has CHOSEN to be open advocates for our daughter.

YES, it comes at a price, but what Satan meant for evil God is about to use for good!

...less than 48 hours ago I had NO idea what God was up to!

He has rocked me to my core! And you guys, who have read the blog, and been moved to share are amazing! Tools in the hands of the Father. He is SERIOUS about these children! His love for them is deep. He will stop at nothing to protect their hearts.

In less than 48 hours the truth has gone out to over 11,000 people! And it is still going! Conversations are being had! Questions are being asked! Truth is being told! Light is entering darkness! I am SO humbled to play a small part in what God is doing for His children, whom He loves so dearly!

Thank you! To all of you who have shared! Thank you from our family! We appreciate you!

God is good... ALL THE TIME!

UNvitation

2012-04-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

So this post has been written and rewritten about 100 times in my head.

On Sunday we received an UNvitation in our email. What is an UNvitation you ask? Let me tell you.

We were INvited to a party and when the family found out (through this blog) that our daughter is HIV+, they UNinvited us through an email.

They were angry at us for allowing their child to play with our daughter without us disclosing to them that she is HIV+.

We responded with a VERY gracious email. We were very understanding that HIV can be a very scary thing when you don't have the facts. We gave them the basic facts of HIV and explained to them that we completely understood that this would be a process for them, as it was for us in the beginning, and that we were happy to continue this conversation with them.

Unfortunately we did not get a positive response from them.

I want to be clear that this post IS NOT to attack them!

There are plenty of others in this world that feel the very same way. It is frightening!

They just don't know the truth.

The purpose of this post is to expose the ugly side of lack of education!

THIS IS WHY WE DISCLOSE! I am grateful for this situation!

This is why our family has CHOSEN to be open advocates for our daughter.

YES, it comes at a price, but what Satan meant for evil God is about to use for good!

We have counted the cost of disclosure, and we are okay with it,

because this ignorance HAS TO END!

IT IS NOT DANGEROUS TO INVITE HIV+ PEOPLE TO YOUR PARTY unless...

you are having unprotected sex, sharing needles, giving birth, or breastfeeding!

In that case, my 4 year old can't come to your party anyway! (thank you Deanna)

^{Timothy 1:7}for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
⁸Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God

So what do we do when people REFUSE to hear the TRUTH, and they instead choose to live in fear. I love these verses from the book of Timothy. It is no coincidence that Paul encourages us not to fear, and attaches that to shame and then suffering for the gospel.

We LOVE this family! We will continue to love them, and be Jesus to them the best we know how. We are saddened by their choice to reject the truth. But that is their choice, and I believe that is their loss! Because my daughter is AWESOME, and so is the rest of my family!

AND the attacks don't end there either!

My 8 year old came home from school yesterday and said that a boy in his class told him

'black people are sh!t'

An 8 yr old, said that to my 8 yr old!

So my son got up in his face and said 'you should not have said that TO ME!'

He went straight to his teacher and told her. I am SO proud of him!

He told me 'mom, I wish we weren't in the classroom when he told me that. If we were on the playground I would have punched him in the face.' Again- SO proud! ;)

People Satan is angry, because GOD IS ON THE MOVE!!!!

God is rescuing orphans. God is bringing 'the most overlooked' into loving homes.

Families are looking more diverse, just like heaven!

God is turning His peoples hearts toward Him, and the enemy doesn't like it!

I am SO excited that my family is on the front lines of this battle.

So I want to ask you to PLEASE share this blog post. PLEASE educate yourselves, your friends and family with the truth about HIV/AIDS. Please post the Truth Pandemic video to your walls. Throw up some HIV facts on your FB status every now and again!

PLEASE support Project HOPEFUL and our work. It is important, and VERY NECESSARY!

To help us STOP this kind of injustice please VOTE for Project HOPEFUL to win a $50,000 grant from Cultivate Wines. YOU CAN GIVE $50,000 without it costing you a penny!
Just vote from you Facebook EVERYDAY from now, until June 30 2012.
VOTE HERE and SHARE the link!
http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/28670/

Lets do everything in our power to make sure that no child gets an UNvitation because of lack of knowledge about HIV/AIDS!

8 Months Home

2012-04-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

Awesome Photographer!

Sorry I have been MIA here lately!
The blog has been seriously neglected due to lack of time!
God has been stirring some things up in me,
and I am spending a lot of time with Him to process it all.
B is doing AMAZING in her adjustments. She is going to preschool 3 days a week, for just a few hours a day, and she LOVES it.

SHE HAS BEEN UNDETECTABLE SINCE DECEMBER!
WOOT WOOT!

I am in awe of God at the way He has knit our family together so tightly, and so quickly.
This is NOT to say there have not been struggles- there have been; A LOT!
But I have been able to step back and see that God is and will continue to work it out, in all of us.
This is why the disciplines are SO important! They don't let you get too far away from Him!
As long as I keep pressing in to Him, I am confident that HE, not I, will carry us through.
I am seeing more clearly as I pray, meditate, and trust God, the things that feel so HUGE and scary, are not really as big of a deal as I made them out to be.
Some of the more difficult adjustments have been both of our 'babies' fighting for their 'place', food issues, and control issues.

My 8 year old had a hard time having a new 'baby' in the house. He has been great at expressing his needs and hurts, and I think we really have come a long way. He and his little sister are the best of friends- and the worst of enemies, just like in every family! ;)

The food issues just really break my heart. If anyone in the house is eating she doesn't want to miss out. We have been talking to her about slowing down and 'listening' to her belly.
'What is your belly saying?' Is it hungry or full?
Most of the time she answers hungry! :) But she has actually begun to leave food on her plate and say she is full, so we are encouraged. And she is growing crazy fast, too!

The control issues are getting better, and I honestly think for the first few months, I was the problem.
So hard to admit, but looking back, I was just saying 'no' more than 'yes' and she really needed to hear 'yes' from me.
I was the one who was with her all the time, and I was the one making boundaries that she never really had before, so I was the one she liked the least!
It was breaking my heart! I was getting angry right back at her... I know, real mature!
But it was HARD! She seemed to love everyone in the family, but me!
All of my 'rejection issues' came rushing to the surface... not pretty!
Once I began to go to God with my frustration and pain, and allow Him to give me a new perspective, I was able to respond in love, and not from a place of hurt, fear, or rejection.
I feel like we have really turned a corner the last couple of months, and we are really beginning to enjoy each other.
Adoption is healing and redeeming for EVERYONE! I can't wait to do it again! ;)

Outside of our home things have been crazy too, of course!
Since the end of last year, we began attending a new church, I went on 2 retreats! (I have the BEST husband!)
I was able to share about HIV adoption, and why we are 'fools for Christ' at Discovery church in Simi Valley. Such an honor!
I have started to teach a womens group on The Gospel of Ruth by Carolyn Custis James (highly recommend it!) with my mentor, which is such a blessing!
And I have begun to train for a half marathon for Project HOPEFUL! (i hate running)
We are going to run the Chicago Half Marathon in September to raise awareness, oh and $ too! (click here to donate) For Project HOPEFUL's work for orphans with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked orphans.

Now you are all caught up with us!

I have a few posts brewing in my brain, so I'll be back soon. (i hope)

OH MELT MY HEART!!!

HIV Adoption

2012-04-10T20:35:00.002-07:00

This young woman is AMAZING!

I first met Selah in October 2010. She was instrumental in our decision to adopt B.

She has no shame in talking about HIV and sharing the truth with others.

AND SHE SHOULDN'T!

Her faith in God is inspiring.

This is a girl who knows her identity is in Christ Jesus alone!

SO proud of her!

She is a hero in my eyes, and I know B's someday too!

She is a world changer!

Please watch this video, and SHARE it!

THANK YOU SELAH!

www.projecthopeful.com

(mute the music on the bottom)

LOVE

2012-02-14T14:15:00.000-08:00

I think in this world and in our culture we love to 'love'! We talk about it, fantasize about it, sing about it, write about it. Most people speak of falling in love, or feeling love.
True Love has nothing to do with a feeling...

^{1 Corinthians 13 4} Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant ⁵ or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ⁶ it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ Love never ends.

So then, if as Christians, this is our definition of love,
and love NEVER ENDS why is there so much divorce in our marriages?
If love is NOT RUDE or ARROGANT why is there gossiping and judgement inside our church doors?
If love BEARS ALL THINGS why is there poverty right outside our church doors, lonely widows, millions of orphans in our cities and our world?

LOVE IS A CHOICE, that a lot of us are incapable of making.
4 years ago, it was a choice I was unable to make for myself.
And it is because I was BROKEN!
I left my husband for someone else, because I couldn't accept that my husband really loved me. What I experienced growing up is that men leave. And that I was unloveable. If I couldn't even get my own father to love me, or a stepfather to love me, then I must be unloveable. That is the story that Satan told me over and over from the time I was 5 years old.

But God had a different story to tell! Through my husband never giving up on me, I experienced the unconditional love of Christ for the first time in my life! He never stopped loving me. Even though I ran, he stayed put, and begged me to come home. He was my Hosea. Through great counseling, and the spiritual disciplines I began to see that not only did my husband truly love me, but more importantly God loved me. And there was nothing I could do to change that love. No matter how ugly my sin was He NEVER loved me less! A deep understanding and acceptance of that TRUTH rocked my world!
God redeemed our marriage, and my life! We began an adventure of healing that has forever changed us! Glory to God!

Photos from our vow renewal ceremony 4 years ago.

Today we can both say we are grateful for ALL of it! It brought us to where we are today.
I share this story with you because God has given me a desire to see others come to healing.

^{Isaiah 61 1} The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
   he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
   and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor,
   and the day of vengeance of our God;
   to comfort all who mourn;
³ to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
   to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
   the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
   the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.
⁴ They shall build up the ancient ruins;
   they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
   the devastations of many generations.

We cannot look different than the rest of the world if we are just as broken.
That is not the life God intended us to live.
The church is where healing should begin. We have got to emphasize having our spirits formed into the likeness of Christ. It is the ONLY way that we can participate in the Great Commission.
God is all about our healing! That is what restoration is! It is what God wants for us! It is a life long journey, but as we participate with Him, we are changed from glory to glory, and we have something to offer others.
Prayer, meditation, reading scripture, silence, solitude, fasting, these are the paths that lead to healing. Sometimes GOOD Christian counseling is necessary as well, as it was for me.
God is wooing you. He is begging you to spend time with Him. We just don't allow ourselves to be still or silent long enough to hear Him.

This transformation was the catalyst to the adoption of our daughter. But in our brokenness we NEVER would have said YES to adopting a child who was HIV+.
And we would have missed out on all of her amazingness!
When God has radically renovated your soul, the ONLY response can be a radical life!

Funny thing- I can't tell you how much MORE healing has come my way through loving a little girl who most considered 'unloveable'!

There will never be open homes and hearts for orphans, or widows, or the poor, the unlovely or 'unloveable', until we begin to participate with the Spirit in our own healing.

Let's do the work, so we can be 'sent' to bind, proclaim liberty, and open prison doors, that HE MAY BE GLORIFIED!

Common Sense vs Kingdom Sense

2012-01-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

God has been wrecking my heart lately.
In the adoption community I have recently seen some painful things happening.
My heart is breaking!
I know that God is using these circumstances to stir something in my heart, to make me take a long hard look at myself.

Why as Christians do we believe our lives are supposed to be easy?
Why do we think that we 'deserve' an easy road to walk? Where did this belief come from?
It DID NOT come from the Bible. Everything I read in the Bible says this life is not my home.
I am supposed to be uncomfortable here.
I am supposed to crucify my fleshly desires, and die to my self, and carry my cross.
Look at Jesus first followers. (Some are well known facts- some are popular traditions.)

James- put to death by sword
Peter- crucified, upside down
Matthew- arrested in Ethiopia, nailed to the ground with spears and beheaded
John- boiled in oil and lived
Bartholomew- whipped to death
Andrew- crucified
Thomas- stabbed to death in India
Matthias- stoned to death then beheaded
Paul- tortured then beheaded by Emperor Nero in Rome
Simon- crucified
Philip- crucified

So if these are the fathers of my faith, why do I want my life to be so comfortable and easy?
These men lived with Jesus, and look what He turned them in to!
They lived dangerous lives.
They had NO regard for their own comfort or safety.
They obeyed God with total abandon.
They knew what they were gaining by doing it too! They were gaining EVERYTHING!
Not just in the life to come, but in this life too!
They taught that their suffering brought joy.
The Bible that I read says I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength!
Do I believe that? I want to. But how would I know if I am only willing to do the things that I am confident I can handle on my own?
Do I truly believe in joy in suffering?
During our first adoption process Bart and I had long discussions about what we thought we could handle. About what we thought was 'fair' to our biological children.
We didn't want anyone or anything to be overly 'disrupted' by this adoption.
Looking back I think that is CRAZY!
That is selfish, worldly thinking.
That might be 'common sense' but it is NOT 'Kingdom sense'!
I don't think I want to have common sense anymore. I want Kingdom sense!
We did open our hearts to more than we thought we could handle. And Thank God we did!
It's funny because the things we thought were going to be hard have not even been an issue. The struggles are happening in completely different ways than we could have ever planned for!
I want to always keep my mind open to what God wants for me and my family- not what I think I can handle.
I think what we forget is the beauty in this life is in the process.
It is in the daily grind of life. It is as we wrestle in relationships in our marriages, and our families, and with our neighbors.
These are the moments when we either choose to work with God and His Spirit to be formed into the likeness of Christ, or when we turn our backs on Him and try to do it on our own.
I want a relationship with Jesus that can only happen when I have to rely fully on Him, just to make it through a day.
And as we obey Him, and we do choose to do the hard thing, He will turn what we saw as ashes into something beautiful.
He doesn't expect us to be perfect. He just wants us to be available, and willing to obey.

If we believe that God works ALL things for the GOOD of those who love Him, then we should trust Him to take care of everything! We either believe Him or we don't!

Being a follower of Christ is NOT about being 'safe'.

Adoption is NEVER safe or easy no matter what age or special need you adopt. Adoption is HARD!

Adoption is redemption. And Redemption is messy, and exhausting, and difficult, and costly.

My redemption cost Jesus EVERYTHING!

I am afraid of what God is doing inside of me! He is messing me up!
I'm quite certain He has something up His sleeve. ;)

4 Months Home & A Birthday!

2011-12-01T14:19:00.001-08:00

She's been home for 4 months now!

I know! I can't believe it either! ;)

She is amazing! Her personality fills the room. She is confident and strong. She is fun and funny.

She has a joy that is contagious.

Sometimes I forget she's only been here 4 months!

And...

We celebrate a big birthday!

Autumn is 13!

Autumn is a beautiful young lady, inside and out!

She is confident in her identity in Christ. She is has a servants heart.

She is immeasurably helpful to me! She loves her family.

She has an incredible heart for the poor and the orphans.

I am so excited to see how God is going to continue to use her life to glorify Himself!

You are an amazing young woman Autumn!

I love you!

Disclosure

2011-10-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

verb (used with object)

to make known; reveal or uncover: to disclose a secret.

to cause to appear; allow to be seen; lay open to view: Inspring the violets disclose their fragrant petals.

Disclosure is a very personal decision. We prayed and sought God, and other wise counsel before making our decision. We do not believe that disclosure is the right answer for every family.

Unfortunately there are people, specifically in the Church, that believe that disclosing HIV status is an act of selfishness, as if those who choose this path are trying to make themselves out to be martyrs. Would people say that about someone who disclosed Cancer, or Diabetes, or ADD or Autism?
What special needs are OK to talk about, and which ones are unacceptable? And why?
Why is HIV in a different category?
It is in a different category because of ignorance and shame.

This is very disheartening. I believe it is our job, as the Church, to be the LIGHT to the world, to allow ourselves to be seen, to reveal or uncover darkness and discrimination.

I can't imagine Jesus telling me to cover up or lie about my child's condition because of other peoples ignorance or cruelty.
I don't remember Jesus or the Apostles telling His followers to cover up or lie so that they wouldn't have to deal with peoples cruelty or trials. In fact when I read the Bible I read just the opposite. (James 1:2)

Is this the easiest road to take? Definitely not! Am I putting my child at risk of being ridiculed or ostracized- probably. But all of my children are at risk of that because their lives look a lot different than the rest of the world! Being adopted can also set our daughter up for ridicule, and so can having a different color of skin, but I can't protect her from that. Should we have decided not to adopt an African child because she might be ridiculed? Was she better off living in an orphanage without a family? I'm sure some people think so, but not us! Not the Church!

We, as the Bride of Christ have already failed the HIV/AIDS community. We shamed them into hiding, labeling their disease as a punishment for their 'sin'. In our ignorance and fear we turned them into the 'lepers' of our generation. And guess what? If Jesus were here today who would He be hanging with? And so if my life is supposed to look like His, than do I really have another choice?
It is our job to be the ones to turn this around. To stand up for the HIV/AIDS community and say we love you! We love you with the love of Christ.
Because we have decided to be honest with our daughter and her condition, and have decided to educate others around us instead of hiding in shame I have had some amazing opportunities to spread TRUTH and LIGHT.
A few weeks ago I had a mother of one of my sons friends call me. Her son wanted to come over to our house and play. She knew about our adoption and knew that our daughter was HIV+. She wanted to know what that meant for her son, if he were to come over and play in our home. She was very gracious and was a little embarrassed about her lack of knowledge. I was SO thankful that she called. I was able to answer all of her questions and ease her fears. I was able to direct her to more information if she wanted to read further. I hung up the phone and just bawled and thanked God for that opportunity! Her son and mine have become great friends, and she is in love with our daughter! She appreciated how open and honest we were, allowing her to ask the questions.
Yesterday I received another phone call from a family member who lives in another state. One of his coworkers had found out earlier this week that her son is HIV+. He called me so that I could talk to her and answer her questions. She was devastated. She thought her son was going to die. I was able to share with her the facts. She was so grateful. I was able to encourage her, and now she can encourage her son.

I would not have had either of these conversations if we had chosen a different route.
I am fully aware that there will be days where this might feel more like a burden than freedom, but that is when I will give it to God, because it is His to carry, not mine.

As Christians, can't we just support each other in the ways that we hear and respond to the call of God in our lives?

1 Corinthians 10:29-33
For why should my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience? ³⁰If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
³¹So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.³² Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, ³³just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

If you have had the privilege of meeting my daughter you would know that she is a little world changer.

You can see it in her eyes.

She is something special.

She is such a gift to our family.

8 Weeks Home

2011-10-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Our sweet B has been home for 8 weeks!

I cannot believe it. It has gone by so fast, but at the same time it feels as though she has always been a part of our family.

She is such a Boulton. Every night as I sit by her bed and hold her hand till she falls asleep I thank God for blessing our family. I thank Him for remembering her, and never leaving or forsaking her. I thank Him for allowing me to be her mommy.

It is hard too.

I used to have 6 hours a day to keep up my house, fix dinner, run errands, and to spend with God.

Now I am lucky to get 6 minutes.

I have a 4 year old who barely speaks English watching me use the restroom, telling me 'Good job Mommy'! ( I have since begun to lock her out)

But I wouldn't change a thing!

Because even though I don't have quiet time to meditate with Him, I see Him in her.

I see Him in all of my children. I don't talk with Him less, in fact quite the opposite, sometimes I can't go 15 seconds without begging for His help! :)

And there He is!

Giving me peace, and patience. Helping me to react in kindness when I don't really feel it.

In the midst of our loud home, He is our calm.

I see His healing hand covering her. She is becoming more comfortable, and feeling more safe.

In the car she sings 'I am not forgotten, God knows my name'

It brings tears to my eyes almost every time!

Yes Batri- He does know your name.

It is written on the palm of His hand!

Family Photo Shoot!

2011-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Sposto Photography

She's just too cute!

2011-08-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some more pictures, because I just can't keep all this cuteness to myself.

I'm sorry! :)

Playing in the sprinkler is one of her favorite things to do.

We still can't get her to put on a bathing suit, but we did finally get her in flip flops!

Serious skills. We're thinking gymnastics or karate!

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

Psalm 30:11

2 Weeks Home!

2011-08-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Well we've been home now for 2 weeks, and we are finding our new normal.

Bedtime has been the biggest struggle by far, but it continues to get better each day.

2 nights ago we moved her out of our bed, and into a toddler bed that is in our room.

She woke up quite a few times and wanted us to hold her hand the first night.

Hoping tonight she will wake-up less.

We stayed home for the 1st week, and have made our home off limits to visitors.

She is feeling very safe and relaxed at home now, and even though it has been hard,

it has definitely been worth it.

Her first outing was to go see her 2 older brothers do a demonstration at the end of their week of 'Ninja Camp'.

They would probably tell you it was the best week of their lives. They had a blast learning to use nunchucks, ninja stars, and swords.

Aidan even got 2 black-eyes during camp!

Batri also had her 1st Frosty from Wendy's which she thought was too cold.

We went to Oak Glenn and went raspberry picking.

It was great since it was the week before apple season we were the only ones there.

Batri ate way more than she picked!

The Boulton Bunch, minus Austin, who is at Church Camp in Catalina this week.

Her 1st taste of soda.

Not a fan! :)

First trip to the beach.

She LOVED the sand, but was not interested in getting in the water.

Frankly I don't blame her.

I had a knit hat on her most of the day to keep the sun from drying her hair, and the sand out!

Her 1st PB&J sandwich

Oh, and she is learning to skateboard too.

A girl has to keep up with her older siblings!

After a rough 1st month, most of which we spent in Ethiopia, Batri is doing so much better than I had ever imagined. She is a total goofball, and loves to make us laugh.

She loves to snuggle her daddy, and wrestle her brothers.

She is always wanting Autumn to carry her around.

We play in the sprinkler and jump on the trampoline a lot.

Batri is such a joy, and we feel so blessed that she is in our family.

Airport Homecoming

2011-08-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures at the airport and our first moments at home!

Just copy and paste the link...

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.179916792079735.45009.100001842472932&l=de6042637c&type=1