The Boulton Family

Common Sense vs Kingdom Sense

2012-01-18T16:08:00.000-08:00

God has been wrecking my heart lately.
In the adoption community I have recently seen some painful things happening.
My heart is breaking!
I know that God is using these circumstances to stir something in my heart, to make me take a long hard look at myself.

Why as Christians do we believe our lives are supposed to be easy?
Why do we think that we 'deserve' an easy road to walk? Where did this belief come from?
It DID NOT come from the Bible. Everything I read in the Bible says this life is not my home.
I am supposed to be uncomfortable here.
I am supposed to crucify my fleshly desires, and die to my self, and carry my cross.
Look at Jesus first followers. (Some are well known facts- some are popular traditions.)

James- put to death by sword
Peter- crucified, upside down
Matthew- arrested in Ethiopia, nailed to the ground with spears and beheaded
John- boiled in oil and lived
Bartholomew- whipped to death
Andrew- crucified
Thomas- stabbed to death in India
Matthias- stoned to death then beheaded
Paul- tortured then beheaded by Emperor Nero in Rome
Simon- crucified
Philip- crucified

So if these are the fathers of my faith, why do I want my life to be so comfortable and easy?
These men lived with Jesus, and look what He turned them in to!
They lived dangerous lives.
They had NO regard for their own comfort or safety.
They obeyed God with total abandon.
They knew what they were gaining by doing it too! They were gaining EVERYTHING!
Not just in the life to come, but in this life too!
They taught that their suffering brought joy.
The Bible that I read says I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength!
Do I believe that? I want to. But how would I know if I am only willing to do the things that I am confident I can handle on my own?
Do I truly believe in joy in suffering?
During our first adoption process Bart and I had long discussions about what we thought we could handle. About what we thought was 'fair' to our biological children.
We didn't want anyone or anything to be overly 'disrupted' by this adoption.
Looking back I think that is CRAZY!
That is selfish, worldly thinking.
That might be 'common sense' but it is NOT 'Kingdom sense'!
I don't think I want to have common sense anymore. I want Kingdom sense!
We did open our hearts to more than we thought we could handle. And Thank God we did!
It's funny because the things we thought were going to be hard have not even been an issue. The struggles are happening in completely different ways than we could have ever planned for!
I want to always keep my mind open to what God wants for me and my family- not what I think I can handle.
I think what we forget is the beauty in this life is in the process.
It is in the daily grind of life. It is as we wrestle in relationships in our marriages, and our families, and with our neighbors.
These are the moments when we either choose to work with God and His Spirit to be formed into the likeness of Christ, or when we turn our backs on Him and try to do it on our own.
I want a relationship with Jesus that can only happen when I have to rely fully on Him, just to make it through a day.
And as we obey Him, and we do choose to do the hard thing, He will turn what we saw as ashes into something beautiful.
He doesn't expect us to be perfect. He just wants us to be available, and willing to obey.

If we believe that God works ALL things for the GOOD of those who love Him, then we should trust Him to take care of everything! We either believe Him or we don't!

Being a follower of Christ is NOT about being 'safe'.

Adoption is NEVER safe or easy no matter what age or special need you adopt. Adoption is HARD!

Adoption is redemption. And Redemption is messy, and exhausting, and difficult, and costly.

My redemption cost Jesus EVERYTHING!

I am afraid of what God is doing inside of me! He is messing me up!
I'm quite certain He has something up His sleeve. ;)

4 Months Home & A Birthday!

2011-12-01T14:19:00.001-08:00

She's been home for 4 months now!

I know! I can't believe it either! ;)

She is amazing! Her personality fills the room. She is confident and strong. She is fun and funny.

She has a joy that is contagious.

Sometimes I forget she's only been here 4 months!

And...

We celebrate a big birthday!

Autumn is 13!

Autumn is a beautiful young lady, inside and out!

She is confident in her identity in Christ. She is has a servants heart.

She is immeasurably helpful to me! She loves her family.

She has an incredible heart for the poor and the orphans.

I am so excited to see how God is going to continue to use her life to glorify Himself!

You are an amazing young woman Autumn!

I love you!

Disclosure

2011-10-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

verb (used with object)

to make known; reveal or uncover: to disclose a secret.

to cause to appear; allow to be seen; lay open to view: Inspring the violets disclose their fragrant petals.

Disclosure is a very personal decision. We prayed and sought God, and other wise counsel before making our decision. We do not believe that disclosure is the right answer for every family.

Unfortunately there are people, specifically in the Church, that believe that disclosing HIV status is an act of selfishness, as if those who choose this path are trying to make themselves out to be martyrs. Would people say that about someone who disclosed Cancer, or Diabetes, or ADD or Autism?
What special needs are OK to talk about, and which ones are unacceptable? And why?
Why is HIV in a different category?
It is in a different category because of ignorance and shame.

This is very disheartening. I believe it is our job, as the Church, to be the LIGHT to the world, to allow ourselves to be seen, to reveal or uncover darkness and discrimination.

I can't imagine Jesus telling me to cover up or lie about my child's condition because of other peoples ignorance or cruelty.
I don't remember Jesus or the Apostles telling His followers to cover up or lie so that they wouldn't have to deal with peoples cruelty or trials. In fact when I read the Bible I read just the opposite. (James 1:2)

Is this the easiest road to take? Definitely not! Am I putting my child at risk of being ridiculed or ostracized- probably. But all of my children are at risk of that because their lives look a lot different than the rest of the world! Being adopted can also set our daughter up for ridicule, and so can having a different color of skin, but I can't protect her from that. Should we have decided not to adopt an African child because she might be ridiculed? Was she better off living in an orphanage without a family? I'm sure some people think so, but not us! Not the Church!

We, as the Bride of Christ have already failed the HIV/AIDS community. We shamed them into hiding, labeling their disease as a punishment for their 'sin'. In our ignorance and fear we turned them into the 'lepers' of our generation. And guess what? If Jesus were here today who would He be hanging with? And so if my life is supposed to look like His, than do I really have another choice?
It is our job to be the ones to turn this around. To stand up for the HIV/AIDS community and say we love you! We love you with the love of Christ.
Because we have decided to be honest with our daughter and her condition, and have decided to educate others around us instead of hiding in shame I have had some amazing opportunities to spread TRUTH and LIGHT.
A few weeks ago I had a mother of one of my sons friends call me. Her son wanted to come over to our house and play. She knew about our adoption and knew that our daughter was HIV+. She wanted to know what that meant for her son, if he were to come over and play in our home. She was very gracious and was a little embarrassed about her lack of knowledge. I was SO thankful that she called. I was able to answer all of her questions and ease her fears. I was able to direct her to more information if she wanted to read further. I hung up the phone and just bawled and thanked God for that opportunity! Her son and mine have become great friends, and she is in love with our daughter! She appreciated how open and honest we were, allowing her to ask the questions.
Yesterday I received another phone call from a family member who lives in another state. One of his coworkers had found out earlier this week that her son is HIV+. He called me so that I could talk to her and answer her questions. She was devastated. She thought her son was going to die. I was able to share with her the facts. She was so grateful. I was able to encourage her, and now she can encourage her son.

I would not have had either of these conversations if we had chosen a different route.
I am fully aware that there will be days where this might feel more like a burden than freedom, but that is when I will give it to God, because it is His to carry, not mine.

As Christians, can't we just support each other in the ways that we hear and respond to the call of God in our lives?

1 Corinthians 10:29-33
For why should my liberty be determined by someone else’s conscience? ³⁰If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
³¹So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.³² Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, ³³just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

If you have had the privilege of meeting my daughter you would know that she is a little world changer.

You can see it in her eyes.

She is something special.

She is such a gift to our family.

8 Weeks Home

2011-10-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Our sweet B has been home for 8 weeks!

I cannot believe it. It has gone by so fast, but at the same time it feels as though she has always been a part of our family.

She is such a Boulton. Every night as I sit by her bed and hold her hand till she falls asleep I thank God for blessing our family. I thank Him for remembering her, and never leaving or forsaking her. I thank Him for allowing me to be her mommy.

It is hard too.

I used to have 6 hours a day to keep up my house, fix dinner, run errands, and to spend with God.

Now I am lucky to get 6 minutes.

I have a 4 year old who barely speaks English watching me use the restroom, telling me 'Good job Mommy'! ( I have since begun to lock her out)

But I wouldn't change a thing!

Because even though I don't have quiet time to meditate with Him, I see Him in her.

I see Him in all of my children. I don't talk with Him less, in fact quite the opposite, sometimes I can't go 15 seconds without begging for His help! :)

And there He is!

Giving me peace, and patience. Helping me to react in kindness when I don't really feel it.

In the midst of our loud home, He is our calm.

I see His healing hand covering her. She is becoming more comfortable, and feeling more safe.

In the car she sings 'I am not forgotten, God knows my name'

It brings tears to my eyes almost every time!

Yes Batri- He does know your name.

It is written on the palm of His hand!

Family Photo Shoot!

2011-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Sposto Photography

Helping Hands

2011-09-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

My sweet friend Tammy Stonebrook is adopting 2 littles from Uganda. Their process is moving rapidly and they need to raise funds quick! Please go to her blog and donate.
Thanks!

She's just too cute!

2011-08-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some more pictures, because I just can't keep all this cuteness to myself.

I'm sorry! :)

Playing in the sprinkler is one of her favorite things to do.

We still can't get her to put on a bathing suit, but we did finally get her in flip flops!

Serious skills. We're thinking gymnastics or karate!

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

Psalm 30:11

2 Weeks Home!

2011-08-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Well we've been home now for 2 weeks, and we are finding our new normal.

Bedtime has been the biggest struggle by far, but it continues to get better each day.

2 nights ago we moved her out of our bed, and into a toddler bed that is in our room.

She woke up quite a few times and wanted us to hold her hand the first night.

Hoping tonight she will wake-up less.

We stayed home for the 1st week, and have made our home off limits to visitors.

She is feeling very safe and relaxed at home now, and even though it has been hard,

it has definitely been worth it.

Her first outing was to go see her 2 older brothers do a demonstration at the end of their week of 'Ninja Camp'.

They would probably tell you it was the best week of their lives. They had a blast learning to use nunchucks, ninja stars, and swords.

Aidan even got 2 black-eyes during camp!

Batri also had her 1st Frosty from Wendy's which she thought was too cold.

We went to Oak Glenn and went raspberry picking.

It was great since it was the week before apple season we were the only ones there.

Batri ate way more than she picked!

The Boulton Bunch, minus Austin, who is at Church Camp in Catalina this week.

Her 1st taste of soda.

Not a fan! :)

First trip to the beach.

She LOVED the sand, but was not interested in getting in the water.

Frankly I don't blame her.

I had a knit hat on her most of the day to keep the sun from drying her hair, and the sand out!

Her 1st PB&J sandwich

Oh, and she is learning to skateboard too.

A girl has to keep up with her older siblings!

After a rough 1st month, most of which we spent in Ethiopia, Batri is doing so much better than I had ever imagined. She is a total goofball, and loves to make us laugh.

She loves to snuggle her daddy, and wrestle her brothers.

She is always wanting Autumn to carry her around.

We play in the sprinkler and jump on the trampoline a lot.

Batri is such a joy, and we feel so blessed that she is in our family.

Airport Homecoming

2011-08-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures at the airport and our first moments at home!

Just copy and paste the link...

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.179916792079735.45009.100001842472932&l=de6042637c&type=1

Behind the Smiles

2011-08-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

So here I am about to expose the not so pretty side of adoption, especially an 'older' child.

It has been HARD!

And that is the understatement of the year!

It has been a struggle for Batri, and me, and the rest of our family. Can you imagine taking an older toddler and putting her in a completely new environment, with people she's never met, a language she doesn't understand, animals that live in the house, and food she doesn't recognize. It has been terrifying for her. Bedtime is especially frightening. I have bruises from her biting and hitting me trying to fight sleep, not because she is angry, but because she is scared.

When I sit and talk with God, and reflect on everything she must be feeling and experiencing my heart breaks for her. But I don't have very much alone time with God right now. I am constantly with her, showing her I won't leave her, and that she can trust me. She prefers everyone to me. She loves her siblings and her daddy, but I am the one who gives her boundaries all day, and makes her sleep when she is exhausted, but doesn't want to. It is exhausting.

I was prepared for all of these things. Bart and I went to a 3 day course on parenting an older adopted child, I've been to multiple conferences, I've read just about every book out there. I knew all of this was coming. And even with all of that preparation, I struggle. I sometimes take it personally. It is not easy being rejected by a child you have been loving, and longing for, and praying for, and fighting to bring home for over a year!

So the reason I share all of this is NOT to scare anyone away from adoption, especially adopting an 'older' child. I share because I want to be real. I have talked with our agencies Social Worker just to make sure I am doing everything I can to love and support her in the ways she needs me to right now. It was encouraging to get a few more tips, and know that I am on the right track. I have an amazing network of fellow adoptive moms that I can Facebook with or call if I just need to talk. I want to say to you other adoptive moms, this is normal, it's okay, hang in there, and email me if you need a little encouragement! I am here to encourage you, as others have encouraged me!

The beauty is each day I see more of her true self coming through. She becomes more relaxed, and less stressed. She is thriving with the routine we have. She talks to us in Amharic, and we respond as if we know what she is saying, and sometimes we actually do. She loves to dance and to sing, and to laugh! Her laugh is deep, it is full of joy, and it is beautiful! Her eyes are soulful, and they are coming alive more and more each day. She sees her daddy go to work, and she is beginning to understand that he will come home to her. She is loved by her family, and she is beginning to believe it!

I would not wish away any part of this journey. I have learned in my life that these are the times that God is making me into something beautiful. When I can mourn with my daughter. When I can see through the anger and feel her pain. When I can beg God to use me to heal her hurting soul. These are the times that He is forming me into His likeness. And that is reason enough for me to continue to endure, and know that something better is ahead. I am not alone in this journey, and neither are you!

She's Home!

2011-08-13T14:04:00.001-07:00

This is Batri with her 'special caregiver' on the day I took placement of her.

Batri grieved deeply, which was heartbreaking, but such a gift. She was loved and had attached to the caregivers. She cried silent tears for days, and I mourned with her.

She still fights sleep as hard as she can. I have the bruises to prove it.

I have to continually remind myself that it is fear and not anger, and this is the only way she knows how to protect herself.

We moved her into our bed last night because her fear of sleep is just too intense, and we want to do everything we can to help her feel safe and loved.

I constantly pray that God will use us to heal her broken heart.

In Ethiopia I was able to see her personality come out about the second week.

Her best friend from her room at Gladney care center also was coming home and we were able to stay together for our last few days.

We are looking forward to many Skype dates when they get to their home in Georgia.

So here she is...

Princess Batri!

We are so excited to tell her of God's love for her, and how she truly is a princess,

daughter of The Most High King!

BEYOND WORDS!

2011-07-18T07:59:00.000-07:00

Off to LAX.

Not coming home without her!

Cannot even put into words how I am feeling.

It's beyond description.

Please pray for favor with the U.S. Embassy, that we would be able to come home soon!

It's Finally Here...almost

2011-07-08T09:55:00.000-07:00

In 10 days Austin (my 17 yr old) and I will be boarding a plane to Ethiopia!

I still can't believe it! After all of the prayers, and the waiting, and the tears, and the friendships formed, we are bringing our sweet girl home!

We don't know when we will be able to come home.

We are going to be with Batri, and hope that we will be able to get a quick date at the U.S. Embassy.

Please pray for favor with the Embassy. That all of our paperwork will be there, and be correct, and that they will not have any other questions.

I am still having a hard time believing, and processing that she is finally going to be ours forever!

I mean isn't she just the most beautiful little girl in the world!?

We are so blessed that God has chosen us to be her family!

Redemption

2011-06-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know these people personally, but I know this Spirit.

This is the Spirit that redeemed my life from the pit.

This is the Spirit that said 'I love you' when I was unloveable.

This is the Spirit that called me His daughter, and adopted me into His royal family.

This is the Spirit that commanded that I care for the widow and orphan.

This is the Spirit that says seek justice, defend the oppressed, take up the cause of the fatherless.

This Spirit has moved me from head knowledge, to a broken heart, into action.

What will you allow this Spirit to do to you, because of what He has already done for you?!

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T19:32:00.001-07:00

My husband is the most amazing father I know. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary on a flight to Ethiopia to meet our 5th child. And he is just as excited about it as I am! There aren't many men out there like my man.

Watching my husband be a father to our children is my greatest joy. I didn't have a relationship with my father, and God has used my husband to heal some of those broken places.

Bart is kind, patient, tender, loving, compassionate, and godly in the way he parents.

I am most proud of the way he leads our family spiritually. He is always ready to obey God, even when it means being uncomfortable, which is ALWAYS what it means.

He shows our sons how to be a great husband, and has set a high standard for the type of man our girls will choose to marry.

I LOVE YOU BART BOULTON!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

Batri Boulton

2011-06-13T12:12:00.001-07:00

We are so excited to introduce you to our beautiful daughter

Batri Boulton!

Pronounced Bah-Tree

Blowing bubbles with her big sister.

Playing Pat-a-Cake with daddy.

Giving my daughter a big squeeze.

It is official! She is ours!

She is the most awesome little girl in the world!

We had such a great time with her.

She has been in her room at the foster care center probably the longest,

and let me tell you, she is running the show!

She is outgoing and always smiling, she is affectionate, and a leader.

She is going to be quite the handful for me, and I cannot wait!

So our paperwork should be submitted to the US Embassy by the end of this month.

It should take them 1 week to let us know if they need any other info.

If they do not, we should be able to get her a week later!

Praying they won't ask for any more information, or for any documents to be changed!

The final mile of the LONGEST marathon!

Mommy and Daddy are coming to get you soon Batri!

I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me. Psalm 13:6

No Letter

2011-05-31T16:13:00.000-07:00

So I got the phone call this morning that MOWA did not review our file yesterday. B's uncle appeared in court and relinquished her officially, so everything in her file is complete. Now we wait and pray that our case will be reviewed soon.

I had a meltdown this morning after I got off the phone with my caseworker. We had been praying and believing God for this letter yesterday.

As I cried out to God in my prayer closet His peace covered me.

I realized just how much I do trust in His perfect timing. He has shown Himself to me so powerfully in my life how can I not!

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

So Friday we get on a plane with great anticipation of the meeting with our daughter! I get all teary-eyed just thinking about it. I'm not quite sure how I am going to contain my emotions when I finally see my beautiful little girl face to face.

My prayer everyday has been that she will know how much we love her and more importantly how much He loves her.

I believe that God has been faithful to answer that prayer.

I believe that she already feels our love and His love.

Prayers for my Daughter

2011-05-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight as you put your head on your pillow and close your eyes, someone on the other side of the world will be reviewing our adoption case.

They will be deciding if we can be a family.

Please say a prayer that our approval letter will be written.

We believe in the power of prayer!

Thank you!

Prayer and Fasting

2011-05-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

We leave for Ethiopia in 7 days!

The Ministry of Women's Affairs will be reviewing our case on Monday, May 30th. Which will be Sunday night our time.

The Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA) has to write a letter approving our case before we can officially pass court and be approved to be Miss B's parents.

This is HUGE! MOWA has reduced the number of letters they write a day. If we do not get our letter on Monday it could mean additional MONTHS of waiting.

In response to this very important day and decision we would like to ask you to join us in fasting and praying. We want to cry out to God with more than our lips and our hearts. We want to cry out to God with our entire being.

⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

We are going to fast Sunday after lunch, until lunch on Monday.

On Monday at lunch we are going to gather with our friends and family to break the fast, pray and celebrate our trip to meet our daughter!

Will you join with us?

This is a REALLY important time for us, and I cannot express to you how much we NEED and appreciate your love, support and prayers!

Court Date!!!!

2011-05-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

We got our court date today!!!!!

Our court date is on June 9th.

The Ministry of Women's Affairs will be reviewing our case on May 30th. We will be fasting and praying for a favorable opinion from them on that day!

Our 18th anniversary is on June 4th. This will be the best anniversary gift ever; to be meeting our daughter!

I will be holding my beautiful daughter in my arms on Monday June 6th!

When my caseworker called and said 'my day was about to get better' I just began to sob.

I could not believe that the words I had been waiting to hear since mid-December were finally being said.

God is SO good. Through all of the difficult moments of the waiting these past few months I have drawn closer to Him.

He truly is the Comforter!

He is also Jehovah Jireh- the Provider!

Lots to do the next couple of weeks!

Any tips from you pros would be much appreciated. I feel like my head is going to explode!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I'm meeting my daughter in 18 days!

Refreshing!

2011-05-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of spending a few days at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit 7 in Louisville KY.

It was so good just to be with so many like-minded people. Our wait has been difficult, and these past few days were just what I needed!

I got to meet a lot of wonderful new people. I got to spend time with the amazing Project HOPEFUL team. It was like being with family. We stayed up till 2am every night talking and laughing and even praying together.

This trip felt like a gift from God. He knew it was just what I needed.

It was like a long cool drink of water for my soul.

Already looking forward to Together For Adoption in AZ in October!

Some Days Are Not So Good

2011-05-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Most days are good. I know from experience that God's plan and timing are perfect. I know from experience that there is a good reason for the waiting.

I have been asking God to align my desires with His perfect will.

BUT...

Some days are just HARD!

Last night Bart and I were roaming around Marshalls on our date night, and they had a bunch of 4th of July dresses for little girls.

I could feel the tears burning in my eyes. We had to leave.

Miss B has a 4th of July dress hanging in her closet. One that she probably will not be wearing on the 4th of July. I bought it in December, knowing it was safe to buy because surely she would be home by July 4th.

We NEED to get a court date by early July. Ethiopia has a 'rainy season' where their courts close for 2 months, from August to October. If we do not pass court by the end of July she will not come home until October.

PLEASE pray with us that we will pass court before August!

Brighton Their World

2011-04-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

I have never met the Hoffmans in person, but our hearts are forever bonded together by our God.

Our daughters are best buddies at an orphanage in Ethiopia.

Laura Hoffman has been a rock for me during these past few difficult months of our adoption. We have fasted and prayed together for our beautiful daughters.

Mute the music player at the bottom of my blog.

This is their story...

Brighton Their World Promo from Echo on Vimeo.

A can of powdered formula costs about $20. Online friends you can donate directly to their organization here.

Or you can bring me a check and I will send it to them.

TOGETHER we can Brighton Their World!

Thanks!

Victory

2011-04-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

I just got this book called "The Three Battlegrounds" by Francis Frangipane. I am only a few pages in and I LOVE it!

The first principle it teaches is...

Victory begins with the name of Jesus on your lips, but it will not be consummated until the nature of Jesus is in your heart.

The book explains that Satan will be allowed to come against the area of our weakness until we realize God's only answer is to become Christlike.

Satan will not continue to assault us if the circumstances he designed to destroy us are now working to perfect us!

I have really been allowing this statement to penetrate me. It is putting a lot of things in perspective for me right now. There are things that He is working out in us. He is using the delays and the waiting to make not only me and my husband more Christlike, but also all our children as well.

ARE YOU LETTING YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES DESTROY YOU, OR PERFECT YOU?

So fellow adoptive mommies that are tired of waiting and at the end of your rope...

ARE YOU LETTING THIS WAIT DESTROY YOU, OR PERFECT YOU?

Adoption-Not For Sissies!

2011-04-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

We got some bad news on Monday about our adoption. I'm not going to go into details, but the best scenario is that ALL of our daughters paperwork is going to have to be redone, and at this point we do not know how long this is going to take. This is NOT due to anything our agency has done. We LOVE Gladney, and will work with them again.

My dear girlfriend said to me on Monday when I told her the news... adoption is not for sissies... she is so right!

This process has been so much more difficult than I ever imagined! There have been ups and downs, sometimes even hour by hour. My emotions have been all over the place. And I cannot imagine having to walk this road without my sweet Savior!

My faith has grown immensely in this process. And I'll tell you what; adoption is great for your prayer life!

Everything that is good in my life has been hard! I have asked God for His very best in my life, and that NEVER comes without struggle. Obedience is ALWAYS hard, because we have an enemy who wants to thwart Gods plans. But we also have a promise that Jesus has already overcome our adversary. He is already victorious, therefore I am already victorious!

I have a promise that God will make ALL things work together for my good!

I am learning that the faster I run to the arms of my Savior and cry out to Him, the sooner He heals my broken heart.

The Comforter reminds me of His promises, and I can walk in His truth.

I am learning to be thankful for the pain because it is now that He is pruning me, and forming me into the image of the Son.

I am learning that ALL the pain is worth it because He redeems it all, and makes it something beautiful. And I want to be beautiful, not 'happy'. I want joy, not an 'easy life'.

I am learning that when I am weak, and at the end of my rope, feeling like I cannot do this anymore, He wipes my tears, and says "give it to me". And in that place He whispers His truth in my ears. "You are not alone. You are weak, but I AM strong. I have already overcome."

I am learning that I am NOT a sissy!

He is the Creator of heaven and earth. He is not surprised by anything that has gone on in our adoption. He has chosen me to be B's mother. He will bring our daughter home to us.

He will be glorified!

Update Day

2011-04-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

Got another update today...

Batri—I played ball with Batri for a little while today. I was amazed when, at one point, the ball bounced near her head and she punched her little noggin at the ball and headed it toward one end of the room. I was impressed with her coordination and skill! I’m not sure she had ever done that before, or even quite understood what she was doing, but I think she may have some talent!

We will obviously need to sign her up for soccer ASAP. ;)

And the update comes with another picture. An adorable picture of her eating snack.

Man these updates are HARD! I have been in such a good place this last week, and then the update comes and I'm a wreck!

Well, we are 1 day closer today than we were yesterday!

Happy Birthday!

2011-03-28T10:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Asher!

This handsome guy turned 10 yesterday!

We love you Asher. You are such an amazing young guy.

7 Months Ago

2011-03-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

7 months ago we saw a picture of the most beautiful little girl!

Bright eyes, chubby cheeks, amazing hair.

From the first glance we knew she was our daughter.

For 7 months we have been praying for her daily.

We have been falling more in love with her.

She has already become part of our family.

We have become more fervent in our prayers.

More specific about our desires to have her home.

We are believing God for good news this week.

Girls Weekend!

2011-03-21T20:58:00.000-07:00

On Friday I had our bags packed. I picked up my daughter from school and headed to pick up my dear friend Sharon and her daughter who is Autumns best friend!

Sharon and I had been planning the weekend for months.

We got a room in a fun resort in Palm Springs, with a great swimming pool.

Our plan was to pour into our girls. To let them know how amazing they are and who God has created them to be.

Autumn and Kailey had a blast swimming, and shopping!

On Saturday night we took them out to a nice dinner and gave them purity rings.

They were so excited and couldn't wait to get them on their fingers.

We had videos about purity to watch with them and had some really great conversations.

We used Pam Stenzel curriculum, and highly recommend it!

Before we came home we gave the girls love letters from their daddys and brothers.

It was SO awesome! A weekend I hope they will never forget!

I know I never will!

Choices

2011-03-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

^{Okay so it's time to get real honest here. I have allowed myself to be distracted by what is going on in the Ethiopia adoption process. The enemy is a master of distraction. Granted this is BIG, but our God is BIGGER!}

^{I don't know about you, but I have been negative, I have been grumpy, I have been overly-sensative. I have been a train wreck! I have not been a very good mother to my kiddos, and I haven't been a very nice wife. I am usually a glass half full kind of person, but I have just been overwhelmed with negativity.}

Now I don't think there is anything wrong with grieving. I have certainly had some emotional and angry conversations with God in my prayer closet over the last couple of weeks. But people do we or do we not believe that our God is IN CONTROL?!

I have experienced the grace and goodness of God in my life. I KNOW that He works ALL things for the good of those who love Him. That IS His business.

So I am going to choose to trust Him right now.

I will petition Him on behalf of my daughter and the other lonely children. I believe my job and your job right now is to position ourselves in a way to HEAR Him. We must be so close to Him that we will not miss it when He says I want you to move, I want you to act. But that means to BE STILL and wait, now!

Change does not happen when we are comfortable. And I don't know about you but I want to change. I want to be more like Him.

So I am going to choose to say thank you God for changing me.

I know that if I can be grateful and find joy in this process and work with God and not fight Him, the greater the change will be.

God is God, and I am not. God is not surprised by any of this. He knew it was going to happen. He allowed it to happen.

So the choice is do I believe God and His Word or not?

Do I know through my life experiences that He is good? Do I know that when I have suffered He has brought me through, and in the end I have been grateful.

I choose uncomfortable! I choose change! I choose joy in the pain! I choose to trust in the midst of the unknown! I choose worship and praise and prayer and fasting! I choose God!

U.S. Dept. of State Announces Delay

2011-03-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Ethiopia Adoption Alert

Adoption Alert

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Bureau of Consular Affairs
Office of Children’s Issues
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Government of Ethiopia Plans Major Slow-Down in Adoption Processing

March 9, 2011

Citing the need to work on quality and focus on more important strategic issues, the Government of Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA) will reduce to a maximum of five the number of adoption cases it processes per day, effective March 10, 2011. Under Ethiopian adoption procedures, MOWCYA approves every match between prospective adoptive parents and an Ethiopian child before that case can be forwarded for a court hearing. The U.S. Embassy is working with Ethiopian government officials and adoption agencies to learn more about this change in procedures. We will continue to share information as it becomes available.

Given MOWCYA's current caseload, the U.S. Embassy anticipates that this change could result in an overall decline in case processing of some 90 percent. If this change is implemented as proposed, we expect, that parents who have begun the process of adopting from Ethiopia but have not yet been matched with a child could experience significant delays. It is not clear if this change in procedures would have any significant impact on cases in which MOWCYA has already approved matches.

Prospective adoptive parents should remain in close contact with their adoption service provider to obtain updates on individual cases.

The Embassy's Adoptions Unit can be reached at consadoptionaddis@state.gov.

Please continue to monitor http://adoption.state.gov/ for updated information as it becomes available.

We have not heard from our agency as to how this will affect our case, but things are looking very bleek.

Please continue to lift our daughter and our family in your prayers.

Here is the link to the announcement.

We DO believe that our God is bigger than all of this. And we do know that this has not come as a surprise to Him.

We believe that He is in control, He sits on the throne, and He is good ALL the time!

Divine Appointment

2011-03-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

My friend Melanie is in Ethiopia for her court date. Her daughter is in the same house as Miss B. This is what she said when she met her today.

"Oh, so I think God had a divine appointment for me today. My friend, Lynsey, is adopting a little girl, too, and is waiting on a court date. She and my daughter are in the same foster home, so she asked me to grab a photo. When we got there, we realized that the kids were in different rooms and we were only allowed in the room where ESD was. I thought, uh-oh, there’s no way I’m going to find Lynsey’s girl. Well, Miss B found ME! I sat down on the floor by the kids, and this adorable girl makes a BEELINE for me, barreling past the other kids and sits in my lap. I actually thought, hmm, she’s the right age and looks like she could be her, but no way, that would be too much of a coincidence. Alex asked the caregiver what her name was and she said it – it was her! Miss B sat in my lap over and over, ran around playing with bubbles, would come back over to hug me really hard, played with my camera, and had me pick her up. She wanted to give up snack just to have me hold her. So Lynsey, today while my eyes were locked on my daughter, I was holding yours tight. I got to be your arms today and love on your little one. She’s such a delight – a leader, a force of nature, strong and healthy and loving and she knows what she wants. She’s curious and independent and HAPPY. I got some great pics."

I thought I had run out of tears after the last few days, I was WRONG! Oh my heart!

Keep Praying!

2011-03-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share a wonderful blog post by Tom Davis of Children's HopeChest.

Some of us mothers have committed to fast every Friday till our babies are home. We would love for you to join us! And if you are willing please let me know!

Ethiopia's Plan to Cut Adoptions: A Prayerful Response by Tom Davis
Over the weekend I confirmed with some contacts in the adoption community that the processing of adoptions is slowing down in Ethiopia. Partners of Children's HopeChest have been unable to process adoptions since mid-November.

From what my sources are saying, there is some activity between the Ethiopian courts and the Ethiopian government about the future of their inter-country adoption program. I am not sure it is completely over and done with just yet. And that is why we must pray through this until there is more news.
Again, there's nothing official posted on the U.S. State Department Web site or any other official indication from Ethiopia. But this is all pointing toward a drastic reduction in the number of Ethiopian children being placed with U.S. families.

I want to start a continuous prayer movement on behalf of the children of Ethiopia. Please pray for the following:

1. For God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.God is in control. For those of you who are facing being stuck, remember that God is in control.

2. For God to breakdown strongholds of the enemy.Every child deserves the right to grow up in a health family, and adoptive families provide that for thousands of children each year. Pray that God would demolish the strongholds that are set up against adoption.

3. For God to fulfill His promises.God defines Himself as the Father to the Fatherless. He declares He will set the lonely in families. He warns those who would interfere with His plan to bring justice and mercy that is due to them. Find the orphan scriptures, pray them to God, and ask Him to fulfill those promises to the children of Ethiopia now.

4. For the courts and judges and government officials making this decision.
Ask the Holy Spirit to permeate the courtroom and convict the hearts of the judges and other government officials. Bring the power of the Holy Spirit into these discussions and proceedings--not that we would get our way--but that God's perfect will would be fulfilled in these decisions.

5. For the children and familiesThat God would shorten their wait times. Fortunately, God is bigger than these obstacles. Pray that waiting children would receive comfort. And pray that waiting families would experience peace, grace, and love from those around them.

While things are uncertain, our best response today is prayer. I will post more news as it comes available to me. Please pass this on to all your friends and contacts who care and are concerned about orphans and adoption.

Hope Deferred

2011-03-04T17:07:00.000-08:00

Today, as many of us fasted

Ethiopia's Ministry of Women's Affairs issued a directive saying it will process a maximum of 5 inter-country adoptions a day. This is down from 50 cases a day, about half of them to the United States, this according to VOA News. The change is effective as of March 10.

Just last night at Catalyst Judah Smith spoke on Proverbs 13:12

HOPE DEFERRED MAKES THE HEART SICK.

That is how I feel. It is how I imagine many of us feel right now. My heart aches.

But I have to believe that God is just setting the stage for His glory!

We must stay on our knees crying out to the Healer of sick hearts.

Judah Smith also said- 'Jesus is the sum and substance of ALL God's promises'.

We can ask in the name of Jesus, according to His will, and it will be answered.

Because the rest of Proverbs 13:12 says

but a LONGING FULFILLED is a TREE OF LIFE.

So I choose to believe in and hang on to the tree of life. Today I may be barely hanging on to a flimsy limb, but tomorrow I hope to be wrapped around the trunk!

Because God is good ALL the time. It's all He knows! Good gifts for His children.

So thank you to everyone who joined the fast today, I KNOW our prayers were heard.

LOVE

2011-03-02T13:42:00.000-08:00

I have been spending a lot of time on my face in my prayer closet.

I thought of my daughter getting older in a country that I love, but a country that will harshly judge her because of a disease in her blood. Then I thought of those in this country who will do the same.

God did we do the right thing being so open about her HIV?

And God clearly answered me- those who do not love her because of her HIV cannot love.

WOW! It's that simple! If you cannot love my daughter because of a disease in her blood, or the color of her skin, or because she was adopted into my family, it is only because YOU CANNOT LOVE.

If you are afraid of HIV after you have been educated about it, it is because you do not know LOVE. Perfect love drives out ALL fear.

LOVE is a person, LOVE is God, God is LOVE!

Body & Soul

2011-03-01T09:27:00.000-08:00

I find myself, along with many others, in a 'grievous sacred moment'. Circumstances outside of our control are keeping my daughter, and many other children, from coming home.

God made it clear we were to fast in this moment.

We are asking you to join us in a 24 hour fast from Thursday evening after dinner, until Friday dinner.

I think fasting is the most misunderstood ancient practice in the Christian church today.

A lot of us get to the end of our ropes and think 'well I guess I'll fast and then God will have to do something'. But fasting is not an instrument of manipulation to force God into giving us our own way. Fasting is our hearts RESPONSE to what breaks God's heart!

Fasting is our body joining with our soul to cry out to God in response to disaster, lack of love or holiness or compassion, the impoverished in the world, sin, death, or the absence of justice or peace or love. Fasting is our bodies NATURAL response to 'grievous sacred moments' in life.

In America we tend to separate our bodies from our spirit, and that's just not how we were created.

I love how Scot McKnight puts it in his book FASTING.

"We will fast because we will sense God's response to the very conditions around us, and it will lead us to join in the good work of God... and joining God is all we really wanted anyway"

I was reading Esther this morning at the suggestion of a dear friend. What stood out to me was that God could have had the king summons Esther, instead of having her go to him at the risk of her own life. Her fear would have disappeared, and the outcome would have been the same. But God waited. He allowed His people to mourn and fast and weep and wail. I bet if you could ask them if they would have preferred for God to come in and save the day immediately, without their hearts breaking, they would say- NO WAY!

Weeping at the foot of a Savior who understands is life changing.

What a beautiful thing to approach the throne of God as a whole being, crying out for the ones that He loves! And truth be told- joining God is all we really wanted anyway!

The God of HOPE

2011-02-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have struggled blogging lately. I have written 3 or 4 entries and then deleted them. The wait is getting HARD!

I haven't wanted to say it because I feel unfaithful. I trust God. I know that He never shows up a day late. I know that He knows what He is doing. I want His will to be done. And so I struggle. I wrestle with myself and God and the enemy everyday. I try and replace my feelings with the Truth of Gods Word.

I know the truth in my head and in my heart.

But this mommas heart is breaking for her little girl!

I want to hold her and kiss her. I want to tell her how precious she is. I want to tell her she is chosen, and loved. I want to grieve her losses with her. I want to wipe her tears, and drink in her smiles. I want to rock her and read her stories. I want to give her baths, and play with her hair. I want to play dress up with her, and let her try on all my jewelry. I want to whisper in her ear "you are daughter of the Most High King, and He loves you!"

And so today, I wept at the foot of my Saviors Cross, and I begged Him to bring her home soon. I proclaimed His truth that He sets the lonely in families, and to please bring my daughter home. Today He showed me that is exactly where I needed to be! At the foot of the Cross, pleading my case, because He hears me. And today I feel strengthened knowing that my Savior's will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Today I believe that He is going to move mountains and bring me my baby girl home, because that is where she belongs!

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Today I have joy and peace because He is my HOPE!

Please join me, and the other families waiting to bring their babies home in prayer. Lets storm the gates of heaven for the lonely ones.

I HEART TEXAS

2011-02-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

My hubby and I just spent a couple of days in Fort Worth TX at a seminar specifically for parents adopting older children. Gladney, our wonderful adoption agency has now made it mandatory for anyone adopting a child over the age of 5 to attend this training. The thing I love about our agency is that their #1 concern is the children. The training was AWESOME and I wish I had gone to something like that about 17 years ago! :)

It was all about parenting the heart of your child and connecting with them, and not just focusing on their behaviors. It was based on decades of study done by Dr. Karyn Purvys from Texas Christian University and others. Dr. Purvys wrote a book called The Connected Child that I HIGHLY recommend- whether you are adopting or parenting biological children there is a lot to be learned from her work.

Gladney offers their training free of charge to any parent adopting through them, so if you are adopting through Gladney talk to your case-worker for info on the Pathways training.

The other highlight of our trip was finally meeting Emily and Moody Alexander face to face! They have been an important part of our adoption journey. God used them to bring us to our beautiful daughter.

It felt like we had known them for years! We were all so transparent and authentic with each other. Only mutual love for God and His glory can form bonds and friendships like that! So looking forward to hanging with them this spring in Cali!

P.S. Alexanders- Thanks for the Babes chicken fried steak. I can't stop thinking about it! :)

Update Day!

2011-02-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

Today was update day!

Update day is THE best day of the month! The beginning of each month we get a picture and a brief description of our little girl. I look forward to this day all month long. I read over and over the words, drawing a picture in my mind of what it will be like to have her home. How her unique personality will change our family dynamics.

I stare at the picture, smile and giggle at it. I have even been known to talk to her picture that is the backdrop on our computer. My husband thinks I'm crazy- he's probably right.

I am trying so hard not to wish the days away wanting to get her home so badly. I am trying to be in the present with my family, knowing that very soon everything will change. We will not be the same family. We will not be the same people. God is going to use this little girl to rock our world. I am confident of that!

When I opened her picture today I laughed out loud! This girl is a hoot!

Her hair is fluffed out as she was getting her hair braided by a care worker.

She is staring straight into the camera with these amazing brown eyes.

The look on her face is worth a thousand words. I can see her saying

"are you kidding me right now, you're really gonna take my picture now! Can't a girl finish her braids before you go snapping pictures."

I mean that's what it looks like she's saying in the picture. :)

Oh how I wish you all could see this picture!

The update said she is showing a quieter, cuddly side. And that she doesn't mind sitting still having her hair braided!

I say hallelujah to that!

Entrusted

2011-01-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

I just read Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing To SEE. You must get it!

It is so beautiful. She mentions being 'entrusted with incredible pain'. What a beautiful way to look at life.

What a huge responsibility, and even an honor to be entrusted by God to bring Him glory through an incredible pain brought about by this broken world, but also allowed by a perfect God.

When (what we believe is a) disaster strikes it is not because God was looking the other way.

My cousin just gave birth to a beautiful little boy last week.

The cord was wrapped around his neck 2x.

He is breathing on his own, but has not had brain function. Our family is on our knees.

Please pray for baby Gavin. Please pray for my cousin and her husband.

He will NEVER leave us, or FORSAKE us.

God is good ALL the time!

Hope for Dube Bute

2011-01-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Emily is raising $ for her sons birth village- Dube Bute. His village just so happens to be right next to our daughters! And Emily just so happens to be the one God used to bring us to Miss B.

This is the link for an awesome raffle she is doing. $10 buys you in for lots of cool stuff!

Her family has already done some AMAZING things for their sons birthplace in the name of Jesus!

The initial project was 18 water points, 2 classroom buildings (8 total classrooms), a health clinic, and vet clinic. There are latrines at the schools and two clinics, as well as equipment and furnishing for everything.

They have COMPLETED Phase 1 and are now raising support for Phase 2!

Lets help them out!

Birthday Girl

2011-01-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

Today our sweet Ethiopian Princess turns 4.

We got an update and a picture of the most electric smile you could imagine!

Here is a portion of our update...

"B" has a really big personality: it fills the room. When you enter her room, you’re immediately enveloped by her smile, her laughter, and her gregariousness. You can’t escape them. She loves to involve you in whatever she’s doing. And, along with this big personality comes a good deal of mischief—the good kind of mischief. I don’t always know what she’s saying, but I can recognize tone, and her tone is often sassy and playful. She’s a lot of fun because of that.

How I long to be with her. To have her personality fill our home, to be enveloped by her smile.

This is the last birthday she will celebrate as an orphan, we are her family.

We love you Miss B! Happy 4th Birthday!

Referral!!!!!

2010-12-14T15:18:00.000-08:00

Hooray! We got THE phone call today!

Since we have already identified our daughter it wasn't the usual amount of suspense and surprise. We got 23 pictures of her, that are absolutely beautiful! We got all her health info. and her family background information, which just about rips your heart right out of your chest. We got her birthday, which is coming up very soon, we will be missing our sweet girls 4th birthday.

But, the awesome thing is, we are 1 BIG step closer to bringing our girl home!

We should be finding our our court date around March, and hopefully travelling about 6 weeks after that.

We will now be getting updates on 'B' 2x a month, which will be really exciting.

More Than Enough

2010-12-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

While we wait for our daughter to come home I have been spending my time with God really trying to prepare my heart for her. I have been meditating and praying and asking God to increase my patience, my self-control, to help me be a more structured mother.

This morning in my time with God I began to wonder if in fact I already had the patience, and self-control I had been so diligently seeking.

You see, God is Jehovah Jireh, our Provider. Hasn't He already provided that for me with His Spirit who lives in me. Maybe I have not been walking in the patience that I already have. In order for me to be like Christ, I must have the mind of Christ. Maybe when I feel impatient I only need to remind myself that Patience is living in me. Maybe when I tell myself I don't 'feel' like doing something I know I should be doing (exercising, reading, praying, fasting) I only need to remind myself that Self-Control is living in me.

He said we are more than conquerers through Him who loved us. (Rom. 8:37)

I wonder if He is just waiting for me to act like it.

Jesus has AIDS by Russell Moore

2010-12-03T14:18:00.000-08:00

Thoughts on World AIDS Day
This is an intense post. Please check it out, I promise it will make you think.

Our Story So Far...

2010-11-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

The story of our adoption so far...

The Boulton Family Adoption Video from Bridging Media on Vimeo.

Our friend Kevin Feiertag did the video for us. Check out his website.

http://www.bridgingmedia.com/

Truth Pandemic

2010-11-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

The Truth is contagious. Spread it!

Project HOPEFUL invites you to join with us in spreading the truth
about HIV/AIDS and children living with the disease. Please watch our video, Truth Pandemic and then share it
with five of your friends so they can learn the facts too. Help fight social stigma Join the Truth Pandemic!

Project HOPEFUL in the Chicago Sun Times

2010-11-27T10:33:00.000-08:00

Project HOPEFUL in the Chicago Sun Times.

This is a great article.

http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/2923842,CST-NWS-ADOPT1126.article

Exciting News!

2010-11-24T15:10:00.000-08:00

Project HOPEFUL is an AMAZING not for profit organization whose goal is to educate, encourage and enable families adopting children with HIV/AIDS.

PEOPLE magazine did a 5 page article on Project HOPEFUL and the founders family!

I had the privilege of meeting the founder of Project HOPEFUL, Carolyn Tweitmeyer, at the Together 4 Adoption Conference a couple of months ago in Texas.

Project HOPEFUL has been very informative and encouraging as we have been in the process of our adoption.

It was such a blessing to meet Carolyn and the Project HOPEFUL team. I immediately fell in love with them and was so in line with their vision. I felt such a strong connection and desire to join this cause that I believe is the heart of God. In talking with the team I learned of their need for associates in every state, and so Bart and I are excited to be the California Associates for Project HOPEFUL. State Associations exist to promote the Project HOPEFUL vision: EDUCATING, ENCOURAGING and ENABLING families adopting children with HIV/AIDS within the individual states. EDUCATING through the State blogs and local Parent Forums; ENCOURAGING through local outreach and events and through sharing of resources such as clinics, therapists, and other valuable information that is location specific; ENABLING through promotion of National Project HOPEFUL events; advocating for waiting children; participating in fundraising activities and events to provide grants for adopting families.

We would love to hook up with other families in California who are interested!

Please pick up a copy of PEOPLE magazine this week and check out the article.

God is really doing some beautiful things for the little children HE loves!

So thrilled to be a small part of it.

I DARE YOU 2!

2010-11-18T08:07:00.000-08:00

Thank you for allowing me to vent yesterday.

I believe everything I said to be true, however I do know that one thing was missing in the post, and that is HOPE!

Our God is all about HOPE. So I want to be all about HOPE.

I want to share with you some details of our story. When Bart and I set out on this journey we asked God to use our story to encourage others in our church, our family and our neighborhood, to REALLY consider adoption.

So this blog is definitely NOT meant to beat anyone up, but instead to encourage,

and hopefully encourage people to wrestle with their own thoughts of adoption.

I specifically want to share about the financial side of adoption because from what I have seen this is where people decide they just can't adopt.

So here is our story...

When we first heard God calling us to adopt now, we were not in a very pretty situation financially.

I know a lot of people think your husband is and Orthodontist, you have a big house-of course you can afford to adopt.

Confession time...

Bart has only had a job for 5 years.

Before that we were students-for 13 years! Students with 4 children already.

We had to buy his business, we have tens of thousands of dollars in school loans, we bought a house at the height of the market.

We were in NO place to be spending $18,000 on an adoption.

But we knew God had called us to this.

So, we sold this car

And bought this car

Then we sold this car

and bought this car

That cut down monthly payments by hundreds of dollars.

I mean who are we trying to impress, our neighbors or our God!

Then we cashed out Barts retirement.

I know CRAZY right? I don't think so!

We KNOW that God is going to take care of us!

Then we began to feel imprisoned by our home. We knew bought it in greed.

We did not seek God when we purchased our home. We wanted it and we bought it.

Well, we decided we were finally ready to let it go. We began looking into a short sale, or just trying to figure out a way to fix our mistake. We fasted and prayed!

About 2 weeks after we decided we would sell our home we got a letter in the mail that our interested rate had adjusted and our payment decreased CONSIDERABLY.

Once we let go of the house and gave it to God, He allowed us to keep it.

We are able to host small group in our home every week, and it will be used to glorify HIM, not ourselves.

God has been using this process to bring us to the end of ourselves, to humble us, and we are SO grateful for it!

We also just did a fundraiser I blogged about which was awesome.

Then the day after our fundraiser we had a check in the mail for over $3000 from our vehicle lease that we turned in! They told us we were going to owe them money, and instead we got a big check! When Bart deposited the check and the $ from the fundraiser it put us $50 over what we owe our Agency! Our adoption is paid off! Glory to God!

One thing I have learned in this process is

GOD WILL PROVIDE!

If finances are what is holding you back, the bottom line is, you aren't trusting God.

Nobody wants to hear that, but it is the truth.

Also there are other options.

Domestic foster/adopt programs don't cost anything-in fact they pay you.

Don't let money hold you back from obeying God.

HE will make a way!

The other thing I have learned is that the adoptive community is AWESOME!

They encourage one another, support one another, and LOVE one another.

We are willing to share ideas, and stories.

So fellow adoptive families PLEASE reply with your stories of how God has provided for you!

Together lets encourage others.

And if you are in the Southern CA area and are interested in adoption PLEASE contact me.

I promise I will walk with you every step of the way!

I will help you fund-raise, I will encourage you, I will even do paperwork with you! :)

Well I hope I was able to offer HOPE and encouragement to someone today!

I DARE YOU!

2010-11-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

WARNING:

This post is written through tear blurred eyes.

It is written through an aching heart.

Yesterday my 12 yr old daughter came home with a sad story to tell.

Her teacher was asking about the adoption, wondering when we were bringing her sister home. One of the boys in her class asked if the adoption cost money. My daughter said yes. Another boy sitting behind her leaned near her ear and said

"why would you pay for someTHING nobody wants."

I was cut to the core when I heard his EVIL words and the pain in my daughters voice.

I asked her what she said to him and her reply was

"nothing, he wouldn't have listened, and I didn't have anything nice to say, so I didn't say anything."

I am so proud of my daughter. I don't know that my response would have been quite so humble!

So this literally had me up ALL night tossing and turning.

How could a young boy be so cold? I thought about where he would get a thought like that.

Why would he believe that my daughter is unwanted? We want her desperately!

And then my thoughts turn to these...

The MILLIONS of orphans that are not being adopted.

Our society has said with our actions -

You are unwanted-You are unloveable

So I DARE YOU!

I DARE YOU...

to look into these eyes and see a hurting soul that needs someone to say

You are valuable-You are precious-I LOVE YOU

I DARE YOU

to tell these beautiful children that you just can't afford them,

while you have 2 cars sitting in your driveway, and you drink coffees that cost more than they will ever make in a month.

I DARE YOU

to tell them that you just don't think you could love them like you love your biological children.

I DARE YOU

to tell them that God has not called you to welcome them into your home,

because He has. He has called you over and over again through HIS Word.

The day we stand in front of our Maker and answer for our life here on Earth,

are your excuses going to be acceptable to Him?

I warned you in the beginning, I am aching, I am angry, I am TIRED!

Tired of excuses.

Why are we letting Hollywood answer the call to be fathers to the fatherless.

Brangelina gets it. Why don't we?

We have been adopted by Him. We, as Christians are the most well-equipped to adopt!

We understand what it means to be loved unconditionally.

We understand what it means for someone to give up EVERYTHING for us!

Christ did not just die for us. Christ had ALL of the wrath of God poured out upon Himself, so that we could call Him Abba Father!

It is us whom He has entrusted to care for the least of these, because He has cared for us.

He came to us in our pain and affliction. He healed our broken hearts.

All He has asked from us is to Love Him back, and Love Others.

If there are 1.37 billion people in the world who consider themselves to be Christians, how are there 150 million orphans?

Maybe it IS you! Maybe you HAVE been "called" to adopt.

Adoption is a privilege, not a punishment.

I believe God loves nothing more than pouring out His love, grace and mercy on His children.

LOVE WON Tees!

2010-11-08T20:41:00.000-08:00

I am SO excited to show you the AWESOME t-shirts our friend (and amazing worship leader) Keith, designed for us. We think they rock!

They are not country specific, and you don't have to be an adoptive parent to wear one. These are going to make cool Christmas gifts so hurry and get your order in.

Shirts are $22 and the price includes shipping!

1 John 4:8 God is LOVE

1 John 4:19 We love because He first loved us.

When we obey God and answer the call to adopt- LOVE Wins!

FUNdraiser a Success!

2010-11-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

We had a great time at out Family Movie Night Fundraiser on Saturday night!

We had about 20 families show up to support us.

We had a silent auction. Lots of generous people donated some really cool gifts!

We also had a bake sale with lots of yummy goodies.

I could not have pulled it off without my dear friends Jenn and Jenny.

Thank you ladies for all your hard work!

Love you!

We feel so blessed to be loved and supported by many.

We were able to raise $3000 that night.

And we also will be selling the above cool tees!

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-02T10:27:00.001-07:00

We had a great Halloween!

Here are some of my kiddos and friends at a Trunk r Treat on Saturday night.

My oldest and his sweet girlfriend dressed as soccer players with their friends.

They grow up way TOO FAST!

Great fun carving pumpkins in our backyard!

Post Trick or Treating S'mores Roast!

The last few years our church has been taking Halloween fun back into the neighborhoods.

We took our kiddos door to door, the old-fashioned way and invited neighbors and friends back to our house for a fire and s'mores in the front yard.

We had a blast!

In So. Cal. the trend has been for churches to do big "Harvest Festivals" and invite their congregation to come on Halloween. The down side to this is that Halloween is the one day of the year you can actually go door to door to meet your neighbors and not feel awkward at all!

We were able to meet a lot of people in our neighborhood that we otherwise would not have had the chance to meet. It was great bringing Halloween back to the neighborhood!

True Love

2010-10-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

The other day I was thinking how weird it seems; the depth of love I have for my daughter, who technically isn't my daughter yet, whom I've never met, whom I only have 15 pictures of.

I feel bonded to a beautiful little girl who lives across the globe, whom I've never met.

I feel like her mother.

After I had my first child I wondered how I could ever love another, and then I did.

When we began to talk about adoption I knew I would "learn" to love my adopted child the same as my biological children.

I never imagined that I would fall in love with her before she got here. I never imagined studying pictures and making up stories of her personality by the glimmer in her eyes or the way she holds her head. I never thought I would be as ferocious as a lion when it comes to protecting a daughter that's not even in my home yet.

But why would this surprise me? It shouldn't have been a surprise at all!

I serve True Love.

I love because He first loved me. He has opened my heart to love my daughter. He has chosen her for our family. He has said do not be afraid of her HIV status. He has made me her advocate. He is putting people in our lives to walk this journey with us. He will soften hard hearts. He will open eyes to see and ears to hear.

I wish I had words to describe what is happening inside me. I don't. I can tell you it is amazing, and I hope it for everyone!

Because Every Mother Matters!

2010-10-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

This is a REPOST written by my friend Steffany Boster. She has started an AWESOME non-profit. I'll just let you read for yourself!

I am in awe of where the whole "Tacky for Africa" headband thing is going. I originally started the tacky movement to simply move some... pardon the expression-Hideous or God awful headbands that a group of beautiful elderly volunteers made for Because Every Mother Matters. At that time my focus was completely on funding the birthing center in Ethiopia. I had no idea how I was going to raise the 15k needed. I just knew I committed to doing it. Then, I never would have thought that those "tacky bands" sold only "grab-bag style"would be responsible for half the money raised. What the original "sweatshop of love ladies"-(my endearing term for the 3 generational family of women who donated their time to sew the original Tacky for Africa headbands) did not only for the mommas in Africa, but for this momma right here is hard to explain! Being able to sell and market what they made in spite of NOBODY ever seeing what it was they were buying..is a testimony in itself. I learned to not only believe in the obvious, the power of God...I learned to believe in the power of a good story. It wasn't me or what the "sweat-shop" of ladies made..it was the story behind the headbands. I also, as hard as it is to admit..I learned about my ability to tell the story. I learned that I have more passion and more skill than I knew I had. Up to this point- I knew 3 things-1. I was a wife who tried hard. 2. I worked my butt off to be a good momma and 3. Even though I made a lot of mistakes..man, my intentions and heart were pure.

Then a few months ago I happened to overhear a mom talk about her cleaning business that employed local refugees. Needless to say, I stalked her that afternoon and begged for a chance to sit down with her. All I could think about was a statement she made.."I have more unemployed refugees who need work than what I can offer". Um...this is a mom of 3 that felt called to open some sort of business that could employ the refugees..maybe 30+ that came to her church! -Amazing woman. Anyway, from the moment she talked about the refugees..I felt this immediate connection. I called everyone I knew, before I even spoke with her-that I was going to somehow combine what I was doing with Because Every Mother Matters with the growing refugee population in my own town, thus helping this local organization. Within a week we had 3 different refugees sewing headbands. I sold completely out of them at the Together for Adoption conference. I had just finished the fundraising efforts for the doma clinic that I had spent so many months working for. I was convinced the headbands were done!.The Tacky for Africa headband success was a double edged sword for me. This was the confidence I needed that people wanted to support not only my local refugees but other amazing organizations like Project Hopeful. I now found a new mission. A new purpose and more importantly a new responsibility. I now knew...it wasn't about me or my original "mission statement"...I had now been around enough non-profits and organizations, that I knew...where my place was and is. I came into the land of "non-profit" wide eyed and bushy tailed..I quickly became aware of the politics and unfortunately..the bullshit that follows most of them (especially the "Christian" ones) ..My purpose was clear-

supporting those who provide hope to mothers and their families around the world and in our own backyard

So here I am...finally, knowing my place.

Because Every Mother Matter's will fight to support all mommas through multiple organizations.

It will NEVER be about us or me or you...

It will always be about THEM!

We are about to launch our "world aids" headband through Project Hopeful.

If you are going to the mid-Atlantic Summit they will be available for $12.00

They will also be available through our website.

*IMPORTANT* Please Help and repost!

Given the demand we had at T4 the refugees have spent a lot of time sewing about 100 more headbands. They were so encouraged by the demand and excitement that ALL they want to do is sew:) I pay them upfront...meaning for every headband they make(no matter the quality) I personally at this time $4.00 for every band. This week alone I have written almost $500 in checks. I have sold maybe 30..you do the math. We are releasing this week the World Aids Day headband sewn by an HIV+ momma. Until then, please help me, help them....

You can order headbands here.

And I am going to try and have some at our fundraiser Nov. 6th!

The Mind of Christ

2010-10-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 2:16 But we have the mind of Christ.

John 15:15 for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

In my quiet time with God this morning I was blown away by these passages.

I have the mind of Christ, everything Jesus knows about His Father He has made known to us- or at least He wants to make known to us- and so I ask myself;

What should be on my mind if I have the mind of Christ?

-unconditional love for EVERYONE, including my husband, my children, my neighbors, my enemies

-humility, considering others better than myself (Phil. 2:3)

-servant hood to ALL, without grumbling or complaining (Phil. 2:14)

-forgiveness

-mercy to those who are broken

-grace to others, as He showered it upon me when I deserved it least of all

What a challenge. And so today and everyday I will take every thought captive unto Christ. I will try to love and serve my husband as Christ loves and serves His bride. I will try to be kind and patient with my children, extending love, respect and forgiveness to them, as I hope they will extend the same to me. I will try to be merciful to my neighbors, both near and far.

And when I fail, because I know I will, I will fall to my knees at the feet of Jesus and thank Him for continuing to love me and forgive me. I will thank Him for His gifts of mercy and grace.

I will dry my tears and I will begin again tomorrow in my quiet time with Him, where He will graciously show me another beautiful glimpse of who He is, and who He has created me to be.

Approval

2010-10-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

We got USCIS approval! Yippee! The letter reads...

It has been determined that you are able to furnish proper care to an orphan(s) as defined in Section 101 of the Immigration and Nationality Act.

So that means in approximately 2 weeks our paperwork will be headed to Ethiopia!

And we even got 9 new pictures of the beautiful Miss B! She looks so much older! I can't stand it.

Emily is my friend in Texas who sent me the pictures. Her family just got home from an AMAZING trip to Ethiopia. Please go to her blog, Soli Deo Gloria and check out the incredible things God is doing through their family and friends for the people of Ethiopia! They are truly an inspiration.

Thank you for the pictures Emily!

Ethiopian Muppet Lovin' her Hair!

2010-10-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait to show this to Miss "B"!

This Should Not Be!

2010-10-18T15:56:00.000-07:00

PLEASE watch this video! Make sure you have a kleenex. Then ask God what He wants you to do about it.

Pause my music player first.

Happiness Vs. Joy

2010-10-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 8:2 Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.

In this verse Paul is speaking about the Macedonian church who had just experienced a severe trial that left them destitute. It almost sounds contradictory to us, right? How could a severe trial and extreme poverty end in overflowing joy and rich generosity?

This is precisely how God operates! His perspective is so different from our fleshly view of this life.

In the Bible joy always comes from trials and hardships, they are rarely separate.

And so today I find myself no longer being willing to settle for "happiness". To me happiness is the easy answer or the quick fix. We want instant gratification, we want convenience and ease. We don't like to discipline ourselves. We certainly don't want to die to ourselves!

But we are missing something here, God wants the best for us! I think sometimes we lose sight of that. He is our Creator and He loves us. He never promises that following Him is going to be easy. In fact He assures us of just the opposite. What God wants is NEVER the easy answer, it is messy, and hard and painful! But somehow in the midst of the pain God's hand is molding and shaping us to be more like Jesus.

So we can either run away from the hard things and be "happy", (which we all know is really miserable). Or we can obey God and walk the hard road, carrying our cross, dying to ourselves daily, being molded in His Image, and have overflowing joy, not to mention love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

FUNdraiser!

2010-10-08T17:47:00.001-07:00

Please join us for a fun-filled night!

We will be showing Toy Story 3,

and we'll have some really cool stuff up for auction.

We would love to see you there!

Fingerprints-again

2010-10-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

Well, this morning I found out my fingerprints were unreadable. This is the 3rd time out of 4 sets of fingerprints I had to re-do. Apparently I wash too many dishes! :)

So being the crazy momma who wants her daughter home yesterday I went down to the Immigration office today to see if they could help me out. I had to talk to the supervisor, and he was the sweetest man. I explained the situation and he was so excited to hear we were adopting. He jumped right on his computer and printed out the paperwork for me, and had my fingerprints redone in 20 minutes! The lady that did my fingerprints this time said that they won't ask me to redo them again, let's hope not!

Blessings!

2010-10-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

It is from a Franciscan Benediction…

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

BLESSINGS!

Read this on another blog, thought it was beautiful!

Together For Adoption

2010-10-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the privilege of attending the Together For Adoption conference in Austin, Texas. It was so great. Before I left I kept praying for Divine Appointments, and God answered as He always does!

I was able to meet Carolyn Tweitmeyer who is the founder of Project Hopeful-a not for profit organization that is helping children with HIV in many different ways. I believe this is God's cause and I want to participate with Project Hopeful anyway I can, so her and I will continue our conversation and see what God has planned.

I also met a woman from Newsong church here in So. Cal. and their church has a support group for foster and adoptive parents that Bart and I will be joining. They are also starting to go through a parenting book THE CONNECTED CHILD written by Karen Purvis that is phenomenal! So I am really excited about that too!

I met Steffany Boster who started an organization called Because Every Mother Matters. She is raising money to build a birthing center in Ethiopia. 1 in 11 women die giving birth! That should not be. becauseeverymothermatters.com check out her site, and buy her products!

I had a great time with my roomies -Melanie and Margo. I had never met either one of them until I got there and we had a blast sharing our stories and getting to know one another.

It was so amazing to be with that many like minded people who are passionately following and obeying God's calling.

The message of the conference was that WE- the Christian Church- are the answer to the global orphan crisis. And it is a crisis! The new # is 160 million orphans in the world. That is unacceptable! The rise of Christianity came because we touched the "untouchables" we loved the "unloveables", we fed the hungry, we gave to the poor, we were a home for the homeless. In America the Church is now more known for our hypocrisy. Why? Because we are hypocrites! We don't practice what we preach. We are ALL called to care for the orphans. We can ALL play a part. A lot of us ARE "called" to adopt, we just won't ask God. But for those who are not, you can go on international mission trips and love these children. You can be a support to a family who is adopting. You can educate yourself and others about the global orphan crisis. We ALL have a part to play! Are you doing yours? Ask God what he wants you to do about His command in James; "to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world"

Can you tell I just hung out with a bunch of "crazy" people all weekend? :)

FINGERPRINTS DONE!

2010-09-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

Our fingerprinting appointment wasn't till October 18. Someone suggested that we should try to go early. So this morning we headed off to our local CIS office. I had knots in my stomach.

This could save us 3 whole weeks.

We walked in, handed the guy our paperwork, I told him our appointment wasn't today, he said "no problem." That was it! We were in and out in less than 15 minutes. It seems as long as you have your paperwork they will take you. I guess it doesn't work in every location, but you might as well give it a shot.

SOOOO EXCITED!

Fingerprinting Appointment

2010-09-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

We got our date for our fingerprinting appointment!

October 18th!

YIPPEE!

APPROVED!

2010-09-21T15:09:00.000-07:00

Today we were officially APPROVED by our adoption agency, Gladney!

Now we move onto our "dossier, and waiting period."

What that means is we have 1 more set of fingerprints to do for U.S. Immigration, and then all of our paperwork is off to Ethiopia! :)

We are planning a family movie night fundraiser for Nov. 6th so save the date!

More info. to come soon!

Cannot wait to be in Ethiopia again!

Our Calling

2010-09-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

This morning I have been reading Romans 4. It rocked me to my core!

18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed... 19 Without weakening in his faith,... 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." 23 The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, 24 but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness--for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

It is not our actions that make us righteous, it is our faith. It is our belief in God and His promises that make us righteous! When God has so changed your life, when He has rescued you from the pit and made you a new creation, when He has done what He has promised how can we not give Him our entire life? How can we give Him small bits and pieces and think that this is enough?!

When us Christians ask God why He is allowing people to starve to death, isn't He asking us the same thing? When we ask Him why there are 147 million orphans in the world isn't He saying "I was just about to ask you the very same question."

When we ask God why marriages are falling apart He can ask us the same question!

God can save children and marriages and families and churches! I have seen Him do it! I belong to a church full of beautiful people who did just that for me!

He also asks us to participate with Him. God asks us to get on our knees and intercede for our friends and our neighbors, for the poor and those without a voice, for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61 says 1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favorand the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

This is for you and I. This is our honor and privilege. God has asked us to partner with Him, and after all He has done for us why do we not make the time to come to Him on behalf of a broken and hurting world. And as we pray for them God will show us what He wants us to do. He will give you a role to play. He will use you to bring about wholeness and healing for someone, or maybe many people.

He has not brought about this devastation, we have. So what am I going to do about it, and what are you going to do about it?

Yippee!

2010-09-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

I just got a letter from Immigration, they have our paperwork and will be sending us our fingerprinting appointment soon! :) Yippee!

My Ride

2010-09-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

Seriously, this is what I drive as of yesterday afternoon!

We have outgrown a "normal" vehicle. We could have gone with an 8 seat Suburban,

but they are expensive, and we are trying to be wise stewards of our finances. Plus we always have friends in the car with us, and now we never have to say "sorry, we don't have room!"

So we had mixed reactions from the kiddos.

My 11 yr. old daughter hurried in and ducked down so no one could see her in this "embarrassing" car.

My 9 and 7 year old boys thought it was totally awesome!

My 7 year old asked if we could all sleep in it last night. :) hee hee

Our 17 year old just shook his head.

This is what you drive when you no longer care what other people think of you.

We are embracing our craziness. I told my husband we just need to focus on how blessed we are to be able to fill such a large vehicle with people we love!

Plus he said I look hot driving it! :) (flattery will get you everywhere)

It is a 12 passenger van! There is nothing mini about my van.

I guess we'll just have to fill it up now! :)

Dinner Conversation

2010-09-15T19:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight at dinner we were all sharing about our day. My 9 year old said he had a good day, but something at the end of his day made him sad. He told us about a boy that ran and tackled one of his friends when they were playing soccer. A teacher saw and approached the bully and the bully said he tripped. My 9 year old said "Mom he was lying and even the teacher knew it. He was being mean and lying and nothing even happened to him."

We all discussed how things like that happen a lot, even adults lie and bully and nothing seems to happen to them.

So we talked about grace tonight. We talked about how we all do bad things and make bad choices, but because God loves us so much He chooses to forgive us instead of punish us. We talked about how we still have natural consequences for our actions, but if we are repentant God will forgive us, and He will love us, and He will teach us to be more like Him if we let Him. When we are not repentant, even though it may look like there are no consequences for some peoples sin their hearts are moving farther away from God, and that is the worst consequence of all! To turn away from your Creator, to move so far away from Him, you no longer hear His Voice.

I want my children to know that we are so blessed to have a God who is more interested in loving us, than punishing us. I want them to know that our God is Righteous and Just and He will judge, but He cannot do any of that apart from love.

I pray that when I am being bullied my heart will break not for myself, not for my pride, or ego, or reputation, but that I will fall to my knees weeping for the one who is far from God. That I will see them through God's Eyes not my own, that I will pray, not for revenge, but for God to reveal Himself.

Stress!

2010-09-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling like this ^ lately,

and it is so not my personality!

I am usually very laid back, fly by the seat of my pants, spontaneous person.

Back to school is always hard. I hate sending them off to school for the day, I miss our fun summer days, and then all that homework to keep track of, yuck!

I have also been working like a crazy woman finishing the adoption paperwork as fast as possible. And it just seems like everything is going on at once. 3 soccer teams, 1 volleyball team, 1 basketball team (my husbands) starting Life Group at our house, youth group for my 2 oldest.

Today I began to realize in all my busyness the first thing I let go of was my quiet time with God.

That is why I feel so out of control, I lost my focus.

I filled my bathtub after I sent the kiddos off to school, put on some worship music and just poured my heart out to God! As soon as I began to focus on His beauty, and strength, and wisdom, and His Word, all of the stress began to melt away!

When I put my life in perspective and meditated on all of the blessings He has bestowed on me I became grateful instead of frantic!

God is so good! I just need to remember to focus on Him and spend time reading His Word everyday. How quickly we forget, and how graciously He reminds us.

One Step Closer

2010-09-09T16:01:00.001-07:00

This morning I sent our paperwork to Immigration!

When we get their approval our paperwork goes to Ethiopia.

Now comes the waiting. We have done what we can do, as fast as I possibly could :)

Now we wait! Immigration can take 2-3 months, we are praying it is MUCH faster than that.

We are 1 step closer to bringing home our baby girl!

Time Flies!

2010-09-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

Austin Boulton, I Love You!

Happy Birthday!

This young man turned 17 on Monday!

He is a dream!

I am so enjoying watching him turn into a man right in front of my eyes!

He is on the right path, focusing on God. He loves his youth group, the leaders ROCK!

He has a lot of amazing adults who have poured into his life and continue to encourage him.

It really does take a village to raise children, and we are so thankful for our "village people".

Here the "village" is giving him his birthday love!

Oh Boys! They never grow up. :)

Concerns & The Facts

2010-08-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

Bart and I were very concerned of the implications adopting an HIV+ child would have for our entire family. I did a lot of reading and would love to share with you what we have learned. Most of this came from the Positively Adopted website-link is on the sidebar.

Risk Vs. Reward

We like to think that we would never intentionally put ourselves or our children 'at risk'. However it is helpful to keep in mind that every day we make a choice between Risk and Reward.

If we consider these activities to be worth the risk, then surely having the love of a child and the privilege of saving a life is worth the comparably small and (according to experts) FAR less dangerous 'risk'.

93 deaths every DAY in car accidents-that’s 4 every hour

10 deaths every DAY from swimming accidents

8 deaths every DAY from fire accidents

4.9 deaths every DAY from falling on stairs

2.5 deaths every DAY from choking

1.5 deaths every WEEK from lightning strikes

4.4 deaths every YEAR from amusement park rides

Over the past 28 years that HIV/AIDS has been carefully tracked by the Centers for Disease Control, there have been only 8 reported, though unconfirmed, cases ofhousehold transmission of the virus. 8 in 28 years ²

(It is important to note that among those 8 cases were hemophiliac brothers sharing razors, some elderly women not using simple universal precautions for years, and some individuals living in bizarrely unsanitary conditions, further proving that under ‘normal’ household conditions, the virus is almost impossible to pass. - Also there have been no further cases since 1994, likely due to vast changes in the ratio of people w/ AIDS vs. HIV and the life altering improvements in medicine.)

· HIV is a virus that infects cells of the immune system.

· Without treatment, HIV is fatal. However WITH treatement people are living almost as long as those without the disease.

· On average, people with HIV need to take medications twice daily. They also need to have lab work and see a specialist quarterly.

· HIV is spread through sex, drug needles and birth.

· HIV is blood borne, not air borne. HIV cannot be spread by saliva, tears, sweat, urine, or feces.

· HIV is not spread through casual, household contact.

· As of 2009 there were over 1 million people with HIV in America.

· Children with HIV are perfectly safe to be around, hug, kiss, and share food and bathrooms with. For this reason, generally people with HIV are not required by law to tell ANYONE about their condition, including schools and even dentists.

Far too many people in the United States still lack basic knowledge about how HIV is and is not transmitted. According to a 2009 national survey conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation, one-third of Americans believed that HIV could be transmitted by sharing a drinking glass, touching a toilet seat, or swimming in a pool with someone who has the virus—all persistent misconceptions. The same survey found that half of adults said they would be uncomfortable having their food prepared by someone with HIV, 42 percent would be uncomfortable with a roommate who had HIV, 23 percent would be uncomfortable with a co-worker with HIV, and 35 percent would be uncomfortable if their child had a teacher with HIV.

The link between ignorance about HIV and stigma toward those with it is clear: 71 percent of the survey respondents who gave incorrect answers about HIV transmission said they would be uncomfortable having their food prepared by someone who had HIV, while only 40 percent of those who gave correct answers said they would be. Forty-three percent of those who gave incorrect answers said they would be uncomfortable working with someone with HIV, while only 13 percent of those who gave correct answers said they would be.

The facts are that your life is more in danger by...jumping on a trampoline, riding bikes, getting into a car, walking down the stairs, playing at the park, playing sports, swimming, etc. than living with someone with HIV.

Our Daughter!

2010-08-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

We are overflowing with emotion! Our God is so GOOD! We have found our daughter, "B"!

I must start from the beginning to give this story justice. On April 23 2010 I attended Catalyst, a church leadership conference. It was a leadership conference, not an adoption conference. The second day of Catalyst was almost entirely dedicated to the orphan crisis. Let me tell you I bawled my head off! I was convulsing I was crying so hard. God spoke to me so loudly and clearly that day I had no choice but to obey Him. In my journal on April 23 I wrote

"Today You said to bring her home. Today You said everything holding you back is a lie. She is out there, barely holding on, and she needs you to respond to the prompting of My Spirit."

That was it! I found this gift and bought it for her that same day at the conference!

Before the conference we had been discussing adoption as something we would do in the not so near future. Bart was fully on board to begin the process immediately. We decided we should adopt siblings for reasons I have posted about previously.

A friend of mine told me about a blog she had been reading. The husband is an Orthodontist, they have 4 biological children, and had adopted 2 boys from Ethiopia. They were us in Texas! I read her blog and we began corresponding by email. Soli Deo Gloria is their blog, Team Alexander is an inspirational family, Emily is an amazing woman! Go check out their blog, the link is on my sidebar. Their story is awesome.

We ended up using Gladney who Emily had recommended to me, and they have been incredible.

Part of the paperwork process includes a questionnaire in which you must decide what kind of illnesses or deformities you are willing to accept in a child. It is BRUTAL!

You feel like a loser saying "no" to a child who needs help. We decided since we already had 4 kids we should say no to anything that would have us spending lots of time at the doctors office. We said "no" to HIV.

I could not let it go, I did not feel right about saying no to HIV. I began to do a lot of research about HIV and AIDS. Bart and I had long conversations. We prayed really hard. Finally we decided to change our original answer. We said "yes"!

I told Emily about our decision to adopt HIV+ children. Literally about 30seconds later she emails me back telling me when she was in Ethiopia in June she had met this beautiful little girl at one of Gladney's orphanages. She was 3 yrs. old she was HIV+, and did I want her to email me pictures of her. I said "of course!"

When I saw her picture, and her name "B", practically Bart's namesake :)

I knew she was our daughter! She was beautiful and I just wanted to bring her home! The tears were flowing (as usual).

I immediately called my Gladney caseworker, but it was after hours.

I had to wait till Monday to hear back. Monday afternoon she said "B" was available but she didn't know if she had siblings, and we needed to decide if we would take her by herself.

Tuesday she got back to me and said there were no siblings available for adoption. Bart and I knew "B" was our daughter whether she had siblings or not.

My caseworker cried on the phone with me. This is her job everyday, and she has such a heart for the fatherless that she still cries when one finds a home!

We are now moving as quickly as possible to bring our daughter home!

We are praying to have her home by Christmas, we would love for you to join us in prayer.

I have been crying for days in awe of God. He has orchestrated all of this.

He has ordained our lives and put people in our path to bring us the daughter that He has chosen for us!

This my friends is why adoption is such a beautiful thing. This is the same story we all have! God has adopted each one of us, and He put people in our lives to bring us to Himself.

This is God's story, and I am so honored to play a part in it.

I believe that through our process God is going to turn hearts toward the orphan. They are the heart of God. He has called us to be fathers to the fatherless, to mend the broken hearted.

This is our job as Christians, and frankly we are failing them, and Him!

God has not called every Christian to adopt, but He has called many of us to adopt. Has He called you? Have you asked Him?

Please check out the blogs and the websites on my sidebar. They are full of beautiful stories of those of us who have answered the call. I hope this encourages you to begin asking the question.

I hope you will consider His call to love the least of these.

Cabbage Patch Love

2010-08-27T08:23:00.001-07:00

Okay ladies, you know you all had one. You know your momma got in a fight with another mom in Toys R Us just to see your face light up as you unwrapped it Christmas morning. (well my mom did at least!)

My girlfriend and I were talking about the Cabbage Patch dolls and how they were orphans and you got to adopt them and even send in your paperwork and get their "real" Birth Certificate with your name as their mother.

Maybe this is where my love for the orphans originated. Well, other than from God of course! :)

But Ladies, we are the Cabbage Patch generation!

You know as a little girl you loved yourself an orphan!

Now go out there and do it again! Fill out that paperwork.

Get a Birth Certificate with your name as mother.

They need us! :)

Melt My Heart

2010-08-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was shoe shopping with Autumn and Aidan (11 & 7). Here is the conversation as we were driving to the store:

Aidan: When I become a daddy I'm gonna get 2 kids by myself and then 7 kids from Africa, or whatever God gives me.

Me: Aidan that's awesome! I love it!

Autumn: I'm not gonna have any kids I'm just gonna adopt all my kids, I'm just not sure how many yet.

Me:(choking back the tears) Wow you guys that is really cool. God is very happy with your love for the orphans. Just don't forget you said this when you get older. :)

I am in awe of my children. This adoption has brought them an awareness of the REAL world we live in. They are becoming more willing to have less so that they can give more to others. We are discovering the difference between needs and wants. As we have been preparing to go back to school they have asked for so much less and a few times when I offered them more they have said "that's ok, I don't really need it!"

God is changing hearts in the Boulton Camp for sure!

yellowstone 2010 (530 photos), by lyndsay boulton

2010-08-18T18:24:00.001-07:00

These are our 500+ pictures of Yellowstone.

This is strictly for the grandparents! :)
Click here to view photos

Road Trip!

2010-08-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

We went on a 9 day, 3000 mile road trip to Yellowstone. We piled in the car LATE Friday night and drove to St. George Utah. Got up Saturday morning and headed to the Farrer (Barts moms family) Family Reunion for the day.
This is Barts family minus his sister Brooke's husband. We had a blast seeing the whole family. The cabins were next to a little river and the kids jumped in some inner tubes and floated the river with their cousins.

Sunday morning we got up and drove from Utah to Island Park Idaho. One of Bart's patients was kind to offer their cabin to us to stay in while we visited Yellowstone.The cabin was beautiful, and the kids referred to it as "The Log Mansion". I got to do a lot of my favorite activity too-READING! I read 2 amazing books from the Gods & Kings series written by Lynn Austin. If you like Francine Rivers you will LOVE Lynn Austin.

The kids were thrilled to get out at every State sign and have their picture taken! (not)

I wish I could post 100 AMAZING photos of Yellowstone, and about 400 average ones :)

This place is incredible, you must go.

Our God is so creative, and His love for beauty so evident.

There were just so many different kinds of beautiful in Yellowstone... See for yourself

Old Faithful was cool!

The bison were even cooler!

May the LORD make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else.

1Thess. 3:12

Future generations will also serve him. Our children will hear about the wonders of the Lord.

Psalm 22:30

We had such a blast spending 9 days together crammed in a car, or in 1 hotel room.

We made memories that will last a lifetime.

I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and such awesome kiddos.

God is so good!

Part 3 River with the Bruyere's

2010-08-12T21:12:00.001-07:00

Went to the river with the Bruyere Bunch and had a Fantastic time!

Autumn and Kailey are the best of friends. They play volleyball together, and hang out as much as we will let them! We feel so blessed that they are in each others lives.

World's Greatest Dad! (and husband) ^

Sharon and her boys.

Aidan learning to Jet Ski

Autumn's first time wakeboarding!

Thanks for being such great friends. We love you guys!

El Capitan 2010

2010-08-11T22:07:00.001-07:00

Here are like 400 pictures of our trip.

Sharon and Karla let me know if you want any!
Click here to view photos

Summer 2010 Part 2

2010-08-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

We went to El Capitan State Beach-the REAL "Happiest Place on Earth"

with our BFFs The Bates Family.

We had such a great time!

The boys could not get enough of each other!

Miss Lily Bell is just too cute for words!

Autumn brought Kailey-her very best friend, because their were just too many boys!

Austin is one amazing young man.

Thank you Donnie & Karla for traveling all the way from Georgia to camp with us!

Can't wait for next year.

Summer 2010 Part 1

2010-08-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

We have had such an amazing summer!

We have been so busy between vacationing with the kids, our trip to Ethiopia,

and working on adoption stuff I haven't had time to go through pictures and share our trips.

Well here we go!

Bart's youngest brother Brad was married to Abby on June 4th, our 17th Anniversary!

Last day of school .

Pictures with their teachers.

Everyone had great teachers and a great year!

I couldn't get Austin to pose with his teachers :)

In June we went to Vegas with some of our Peeps!

We had a great time, and found out we are WAY too OLD for Vegas clubs! :)

Me with a Leprechaun. Eat your heart out Jenny! :)

We also went to the river with the Corns Family in June.

Had a blast!

Moving Along!

2010-08-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

Today I sent in the last of the paperwork!

We have some fingerprints still being processed, and we are waiting for our homestudy to be written.

It is so exciting to see it all moving along.

Once our homestudy is written we will send it to be reviewed by Immigration.

Once we get their approval (usually 6-8 weeks) we will go on the waiting list!

Please pray for all of our paperwork to go through the proper channels smoothly.

We are getting so close, then the waiting begins!

Adoption Questions

2010-07-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

We have been asked a lot of questions about the adoption so I'll try and answer some of them.

Why International?

We decided on International adoption because there are MILLIONS of orphans in Africa, and the likelihood of an orphaned child in Africa to even survive is very slim. In America we have a foster care system, that is not always the best answer, but it is something. I just read about a family that recently adopted a 6 month old from Ethiopia that weighed 7lbs. My kids weighed more than that when they were born.

Why 2?

At first we were just going to adopt 1 girl. The more we read, we saw that siblings were being adopted separately, or not adopted at all. That broke my heart! The second reason is I think it would be hugely beneficial for them to have each other. I would imagine that making this transition into place that's not familiar, into a family that doesn't look like you might be easier if you had your sibling with you.

Do we know who the children are? Did we find them when we went to Ethiopia?

We do not know who our children will be. We did not go to Ethiopia to find them. The beautiful thing about adoption internationally is it is all in God's Hands. We have requested 2 siblings under the age of 6, one being a girl. That is all we know about our children. We also know that God knows who they are and we pray for them everyday.

The adoption process...

The process is long and expensive! We began the paperwork process June 7th. It has been a part-time job for me since then. We are still probably 2 months away from having the paperwork completed. It is frustrating! I am learning patience! :)

After our paperwork is complete we will be put on a wait list. It could be 1 month or 1 year before we get a referral for our children. A referral is pictures of the children and any background information they have (which usually isn't much). We have the option of accepting or denying the referral. Once we have accepted a referral the adoption process in Ethiopia begins. Bart and I have to fly to Ethiopia for a court date. We will meet our children and must remain in the country for 7 days. If we pass court we come home (without our babies!) and wait 4-6 weeks for the adoption to be finalized. We then fly back to Ethiopia and bring our babies home! :)

Our prayer is that through our process we can bring awareness of the global orphan situation to our friends and family. We pray that once people see our process and meet our "different" family, that God will move your hearts to do the same!

Did you know that if 1 family in every Christian church in America adopted a child

there would be no more orphans in America!

What God the Father considers to be pure and genuine religion is this: to take care of orphans and widows in their suffering and to keep oneself from being corrupted by the world. James 1:27

Exciting News!

2010-07-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

The Boulton Family is proud to announce we will be expanding our family!

We have been in the paperwork process for 2 months to adopt 2 children from Ethiopia.

We have always said that eventually we wanted to adopt. Originally, we thought we would do it later rather than sooner. About 6 months ago God began to stir our hearts for the orphaned.

We began talking about what that would look like if we grew our family now.

A couple of months ago I attended Catalyst West Coast, a church leadership conference.

The last day was all about the orphan crisis, and our responsibility as Christians.

God spoke loud and clear that this was His plan for our family, and that now was the time.

Bart was completely on board. We knew we wanted to adopt from Africa.

As I began to research African adoptions, Ethiopia became the clear choice for our family.

A few weeks after we decided, we heard about the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Ethiopia. God had set His plan for us in motion!

I will try and keep you all up to date on our process through this blog.

Okay, I'm just gonna let you process this for awhile :)

Ethiopia

2010-07-19T14:38:00.001-07:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here is a video of our trip to Ethiopia.

Let me know what you think.

Happy Birthday Aidan!

2010-06-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

This guy turns 7 tomorrow.

He wanted sushi for his birthday dinner. :)

Happy 7th Birthday Aidan!

We love you!

Ethiopia

2010-06-23T15:18:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow we leave for

We will be doing ministry in Arba Minch, which is near Lake Abaya on the map above.

Please pray for health and safety for our entire team.

Please pray that God would open the hearts of the Gamo people.

Please pray that God would use us to help establish strong churches in Arba Minch.

Please pray that those we reach would go out and spread the gospel to the outlying tribes.

Please pray for Austin as he will be in New Orleans on a missions trip also.

Please pray for Autumn, Asher and Aidan, that they would have a great time with family while we are away.

God has shown Bart and I that He loves to answer the prayers of those who are seeking His face in obedience. We would really appreciate all of your prayers as we GO!

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

We love you, and can't wait to share about all the amazing things God does in Ethiopia!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

My husband is the best!

He leads our family by example, not just words.

He is teaching our boys to be men of integrity.

He is showing our daughter what kind of man she needs to marry,

by the way he treats me.

Part of Ashers' Father's Day card reads...

"My dad loves me and my family. My dad works hard every day. He is also very nice to my mom. He works hard and still has time to play. He protects us too."

Our kids are watching, they are taking notes, not so much on what we say, but how we live.

I thank God every day for my husband!

He is amazing, and he knows how to LOVE his family.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Happy Fathers Day!

17 YEARS!

2010-06-02T18:48:00.000-07:00

Our Wedding Day June 4, 1993

Your love heals me,

and I am so honored to be your wife!

I love you!

Bart + Lyndsay= TLA (true love always) :)

Our Neighbor

2010-05-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

This lives next door!

It is over 20 years old.

It weighs over 80lbs.

It took Aidan a good 15 minutes to warm up to this.

Pretty cool neighbor.

Birthdays!

2010-05-20T14:09:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday my little monkeys!

We celebrated Asher and Aidan's Birthday last weekend.

The weather was perfect! We had a water slide, pizza and decorated cupcakes.

Asher turned 9 in March, and Aidan will be 7 in June.

Sprinkles!

These 2 cuties really bonded at the candy station! :)

Love Ellie's saggy butt! Her daddy forgot her suit, so she borrowed Autumn's.

Cupcake decorating was a blast!

Spiritual Discipline of Simplicity

2010-05-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

God made man simple; man's complex problems are of his own devising. (Eccles. 7:30)

Here are some excerpts from the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. These words have really got me thinking, as you read in my last post.

"We are trapped in a maze of competing attachments. One moment we make decisions on the basis of sound reason and the next moment out of our fear of what others will think of us. We have no unity or focus around which our lives are oriented. Because we lack a divine Center our need for security has led us to an insane attachment to things. We really must understand that the lust for affluence in contemporary society is psychotic. It is psychotic because it has completely lost touch with reality. We crave things we neither need nor enjoy. We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like. We are made to feel ashamed to wear clothes or drive cars until they are worn out. It is time we awaken to the fact that conformity to a sick society is to be sick.

This psychosis permeates even our mythology. The modern hero is the poor boy who purposefully becomes rich rather than the rich boy who voluntarily becomes poor.

Covetousness we call ambition. Hoarding we call prudence. Greed we call industry.

Seeking first God's Kingdom and the righteousness, both personal and social, of that kingdom is the only thing that can be central in the Discipline of simplicity.

The person who does not seek the kingdom first does not seek it at all.

Stop trying to impress people with your clothes (stuff) and impress them with your life!"

All this being said, I am not going to be a freak and burn my clothes and start shopping in trash cans. I am a passionate person, and I'd be lying if I didn't say it actually crossed my mind. I believe the key here, and what has convicted me, is the amount of stuff I have! I am constantly doing loads of laundry because we have too much stuff. I have too much, and even worse, I am teaching my kids they need a lot of stuff. I don't want them to think their value is in their stuff. I don't want them to think joy comes from having things.

I guess it's time for a little spring cleaning in the Boulton home, and a really big garage sale!

The Boulton Family

Common Sense vs Kingdom Sense

4 Months Home & A Birthday!

Disclosure

dis·close

8 Weeks Home

Family Photo Shoot!

Helping Hands

She's just too cute!

2 Weeks Home!

Airport Homecoming

Behind the Smiles

She's Home!

BEYOND WORDS!

It's Finally Here...almost

Redemption

Happy Father's Day!

Batri Boulton

No Letter

Prayers for my Daughter

Prayer and Fasting

Court Date!!!!

Refreshing!

Some Days Are Not So Good

Brighton Their World

Victory

Adoption-Not For Sissies!

Update Day

Happy Birthday!

7 Months Ago

Girls Weekend!

Choices

U.S. Dept. of State Announces Delay

Divine Appointment

Keep Praying!

Ethiopia's Plan to Cut Adoptions: A Prayerful Response by Tom Davis

Hope Deferred

LOVE

Body & Soul

The God of HOPE

I HEART TEXAS

Update Day!

Entrusted

Hope for Dube Bute

My dear friend Emily is raising $ for her sons birth village- Dube Bute. His village just so happens to be right next to our daughters! And Emily just so happens to be the one God used to bring us to Miss B.

This is the link for an awesome raffle she is doing. $10 buys you in for lots of cool stuff!

Birthday Girl

Referral!!!!!

More Than Enough

Jesus has AIDS by Russell Moore

Our Story So Far...

Truth Pandemic

The Truth is contagious. Spread it!

Project HOPEFUL in the Chicago Sun Times

Exciting News!

I DARE YOU 2!

I DARE YOU!

LOVE WON Tees!

FUNdraiser a Success!

Happy Halloween!

True Love

Because Every Mother Matters!

The Mind of Christ

Approval

Ethiopian Muppet Lovin' her Hair!

This Should Not Be!

Happiness Vs. Joy

FUNdraiser!

Fingerprints-again

Blessings!

Together For Adoption

FINGERPRINTS DONE!

Fingerprinting Appointment

APPROVED!

Our Calling

Yippee!

My Ride

Dinner Conversation

Stress!

One Step Closer